Babies, Boobs, & Blasphemy

Football and Trains and Dolls, Oh My

2012-02-09T22:15:00.001-05:00

I have a little boy. And he has tons of interests.

Like football...

...and riding bikes...

...and dinosaurs, and trains...

And mischief-making with other little boys.

Pretty typical boy, right? Oh yeah, he also likes to play with makeup...

...and baby dolls...

...and get his toenails painted just like mommy's.

Shocking, huh? Imagine my surprise at each diaper change when I find that he still has a penis.

A lot of people seem to think it's a bad idea to let little boys play with "girl toys" like dolls and do "girly things" like wear makeup. I cannot imagine why. In all my research, you know what I've found? The color pink won't turn him into a girl (though there's nothing wrong with being a girl!). Makeup won't turn him gay (though there's nothing wrong with being gay!). And frankly, I can think of no better toy for a future father to play with and learn from than a baby doll.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the future partners of little boys who aren't allowed to play with "girly" toys. I quite often find that the women who prohibit their sons from playing with baby dolls are the same women who complain about their husbands doing nothing around the house and not participating in parenting. It is quite sad, really. Maybe if their husbands had been given a doll as a child they might be a bit more nurturing.

Don't get me wrong - I don't necessarily encourage dolls and makeup over trains and dinosaurs. But Liam does have plenty of both, because I hate gender stereotypes and though it is largely unavoidable, I want him to be sheltered from them as much as possible. I just want him to be whoever HE wants to be.

Don't Act So Surprised!

2012-01-17T15:10:00.001-05:00

Oh no! I have to have a C-section! I am 37 weeks and i was induced this morning but after six hours on pitocin my cervix is just not dilating and baby's heart rate is dropping! The doctor says we need to get him out now! Going into the OR now :( :( :(

I hate when people say crap like this. Don't act so fucking surprised; this is YOUR fault, you know.

Well, I guess your idiot doctor, trying to fit you into his schedule and billing cycle before he goes on vacation, is partially at fault too. But YOU are the one who showed up at the hospital on the doctors orders. YOU are the one who signed a consent form for induction. YOU are the one who extended your arm for the IV. And YOU are the one responsible for making sure you are aware of the risks of any medical procedure.

Among its many risks, induction makes you much more likely to "need" a C-section - in fact, it is estimated that up to 40% of inductions end in a C. 40 percent! It usually goes something like this: cervix not dilating (yeah, cuz it wasn't ready to start dilating in the first place), baby's head not engaging (no shit, baby doesn't want out yet), baby's heart rate begins to drop (pitocin contractions are much longer and stronger than natural contractions, and can lead to compression of baby's blood and oxygen supply), doctor tells mom that baby is in distress and will need to come out NOW, parents freak out and consent to surgery that probably would have been unnecessary had you just let your baby come in his own time.

Some people seem to think this is no big deal. But C-sections have many of their own risks, including infection, hemorrhage, uterine rupture, failure to bond and establish breastfeeding, and even death. And early induction/c-section - before 40-42 weeks - presents its own unique set of risks, like immature brain and lung development (pretty important stuff).

So why - other than in true cases of medical necessity - are so many women choosing to induce, when these risks are printed in clear black ink on the consent forms?

My answer: SELFISHNESS. I know how uncomfortable the last few weeks of pregnancy are. I am a relatively small person and had Pubis Symphysis Disorder with my pregnancy so bad to the point that sometimes it was excruciating just to get out of bed. I totally get the desire to be DONE. But you know what? My baby's health and development are way more important to me than my own comfort. Maybe I'm sensitive to this issue because I nearly gave birth at 29 weeks and was on strict bed rest for 8 weeks to avoid having a preemie... But I gotta say that getting induced because you are uncomfortable or "done being pregnant" is really not a great way to start off parenthood. You know, since the child's needs are supposed to come before your wants, and all that.

I know that there ARE situations that can truly cause a need for an induction ("the baby is too big" is NOT one of them), but if you can avoid it, do. And if you STILL decide for induction, even knowing the risks involved, well, don't expect me to feel sorry for you as you are wheeled into the OR for your "emergency" c-section.

Basketball, Religion, and Penises

2012-01-16T23:42:00.001-05:00

I went to my little brother's basketball game this weekend. Though he is not Jewish, he plays for a team at a Jewish Community Center. I love going to his games (especially since he is really good and the team kicks butt!), but whenever I walk in there and see all the Jewish families with their kids doing various activities being hosted in the center, all I can think is... I bet all these little boys have been cut. And it makes me sad. And angry and disappointed that anyone not only thinks its ok to impose their own religion on a child, but is totally cool with belonging to a religion that requires the amputation of children's body parts... And a celebration of said amputation.

It's a penis cutting party! BARF.

Some people who are against circumcision make an exception for "religious reasons". Well, I don't. Either it's wrong or it's not. Call me anti-Semite, whatever. I'm anti - cutting babies, whether that be in the name of health, hygiene, aesthetics, or mythical penis-obsessed sky daddies. I have the utmost respect for Jews who go against the grain and don't participate in this disgusting tradition. But what kind of parent can look at their newborn child and say "this thousands of years old book told me I have to cut off part of your penis, and I love this book more than I love you so I'm calling the mohel"???

In the words of the late great Christopher Hitchens:

My three delightful children are my only chance at a second life, or even an immortal one. And I'll tell you something; if I was told to sacrifice them to prove my devotion to God and admire the man who said, "yes, I'll GUT MY KID to show my love of God", I'd say no... fuck you.

Next time I go to the JCC for a basketball game, I will really be hoping that some of the parents there said "fuck you", too.

Why I Am Not Quitting Blogging

2012-01-10T15:08:00.001-05:00

I haven't really been blogging in a while. I was kind of thinking about quitting altogether, and maybe deleting this entire blog. Bye bye BB&B.

I'm not really going to delete it. But I am just really discouraged sometimes by the absolute idiocy I see in humans on a daily basis when it comes to certain issues, and I don't know if my silly little blog makes a difference. Why even try when the assholes seem to far outnumber me? Maybe I should just go breastfeed my intact toddler in a corner and shut up about it. But then I see comments like this:

and this:

..and get asked if I have a Facebook fan page (I don't, as I'm convinced that approximately four people would "like" it), and I am reminded that even one changed mind matters, and there IS intelligent life out there listening. So I will get back to ~~ranting~~ writing shortly. And if YOU ever get down on yourself as an intactivist, lactivist, car seat safety advocate, or any other kind of child's rights activist, remember that even if you have to deal with people like this:

There are others (with more brain cells) listening.

Location:Fairfax,United States

Intactivist Card GIVEAWAY!

2011-12-15T14:56:00.001-05:00

Do you ever wonder what you can do to raise awareness for intactivism without being as in-your-face and pushy as I am? Well, when I'm feeling a little more subdued, instead of ranting on the interwebz, I go "carding" - that is, placing informational cards in clever places like stores, malls, and doctors' offices where they are bound to be seen - and hopefully spark some thought in the mind of whoever comes across them. Here are two of my favorite cards:

This one is perfect for the holiday season - and stores actually like them because they look so festive! Try putting them on formula shelves, in boxes of diapers (especially premie sizes), in the pages gossip magazines, or on tables at your doctors' office. Anywhere someone will see it works.

I love this one because it is (for obvious reasons) quite attention-grabbing. The purpose of this type of card is to detract from the notion that foreskins are "gross" or "unsexy", and encourage the idea that intact men are normal, desirable, and sexy! These are great to slide between the pages of a romance novel or "sexy" magazine, on the shelves of adult novelty stores, or even in the lube and condoms section of the grocery store.

Does this sound like something you might like to do? Well, you are in luck! Until December 31st, Saving Our Sons & The Intact Network are giving away FREE info card sample sets to Babies, Boobs, & Blasphemy readers! To get some for yourself, all you have to do is the following:

1. Find/like your local Intact Chapter.

2. On your chapter's page, link to your favorite circumcision-related post from BB&B.

3. Email your name and address to TheIntactNetwork@gmail.com to receive one or both of these sets of intact cards! You should receive your cards by Monday.

Happy carding!

A Friendly Winter Reminder...

2011-12-11T14:35:00.001-05:00

...that car seats and coats are a FATAL combination!

Seriously, they just don't mix. When your child is wearing a bulky winter coat, you need to loosen the straps to get him buckled in. In the event of an accident, the force of the crash will cause the coat to compress, leaving empty space between the straps and the child - potentially causing baby to fly right out!

This video gives a great visual explanation:

But, but... it's negative 10 degrees where I live! How is my kid supposed to stay warm?!

Try using a thin fleece instead. Your kid won't freeze to death on the walk from the house to the car. Or, carry your child to the car in his coat, but take it off once you get him inside the car. Then buckle him in and put the coat on backwards, or use blankets.

It's a really simple step to potentially save your child's life.

To The Lady on DC Urban Mom

2011-12-10T16:00:00.002-05:00

Dear anonymous poster on DC Urban Mom:

I saw your post on the expectant moms forum today. For the sake of my readers, I'll repost it here:

We are currently living outside the US, in a country that has universal healthcare and does not provide circumcisions unless there is a medical emergency. Without question, we want our baby circumcised if it's a boy (older brother and dad both circumcised, etc.). We could possibly find a private doc here to do it but it sounds a little sketchy to me. Since it is so uncommon, it doesn't sound like doctors are very experienced or willing. So we are considering flying back with a newborn and two preschoolers for the circ--not the most appealing idea ever but will do if need be.
Has anyone had to do this? How soon could we fly with the newborn to avoid anesthesia? Are there docs in DC I could call to just do the circ?

So let me get this straight. YOU WANT TO DRAG A NEWBORN ACROSS THE WORLD (and back) TO CUT OFF A PIECE OF HIS PENIS?!? You're a horrible human being.

First of all, the fact that your child's "older brother and dad [are] both circumcised" is NOT a reason to circumcise future children. If you or anyone reading this thinks so, I invite you to ask your husband what his father's and brother's penises look like. I imagine the only response you'll receive is a recoiled look of horror. These penis-comparing contests you're envisioning DO NOT HAPPEN.

Does the fact that no doctor in your country will perform this surgery give you any clue that just MAYBE it's not necessary?

Does the idea of flying for hours with a baby whose genitals have an open wound being exposed to urine and feces not discourage you at all?

And WHY are you hoping to avoid anesthesia? You WANT your baby to experience the sensation of 20,000 nerve endings being ripped, crushed, clamped, and sliced away from his body? Again: horrible human being.

You go on to say in followup posts that you are unwilling to have a mohel perform the circumcision, because they do not provide the "look" you desire for your infant son's penis. Apparently they leave "dog ears" - whatever the fuck that means. My question for you is: why do you care what your son's penis looks like? Will you be the one using it? I certainly hope not. And if you remain in the UK, your son's future partners may very well be repulsed by the dried out, scarred look of a circumcised penis. Heck, even if your family returns to the US, your cut sons will still be in the minority.

Lady, you disgust me. I hope your baby is a girl.

Love,
Erin

I Feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills

2011-11-19T00:34:00.001-05:00

I just have to get this out because it's driving me crazy.

Why is the foreskin the ONLY body part that doesn't belong to the child at birth? Why is it the ONLY body part whose fate lies in the hands of "parental decision"?! Why is it the ONLY body part that is legal to CHOP OFF in the name of "prevention"?!?

I could probably name ten body parts that are more problematic than the foreskin. In fact, I think I'll do that right now:

Appendix (appendicitis)

Gallbladder (gallstones, infection)

Liver (any number of disorders)

Kidneys (kidney stones, infection)

Labia (labial adhesions, infection, EW IT'S GENITALS)

Breasts (breast cancer)

Fingernails (dirt)

Toes (gangrene)

Ears (ear infections)

Teeth (cavities)

There. Ten body parts that can cause very real and actual problems but DON'T get cut off just in case.

LOGIC, PEOPLE. USE IT.

STFU Milwaukee

2011-11-17T10:37:00.001-05:00

As I'm sure many of you are aware, the city of Milwaukee has launched a ridiculous ad campaign in an attempt to reduce cosleeping rates, after a ninth baby died in the city while sleeping next to its mother. Here is one of the images being used to scare you out of doing what is biologically normal for humans and other mammals:

Really? Sleeping next to my child is akin to putting a meat cleaver in his hand? Insert massive eyeroll here.

What these asinine ads won't tell you is that most of the Milwaukee cosleeping deaths occurred when the parent was intoxicated, and 100% of the babies were formula fed. They also don't tell you these facts, from an article recently published by Dr. Sears:

Cultures who traditionally practice safe co-sleeping, such as Asians, enjoy the lowest incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
Trusted research by Dr. James McKenna, Director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory of the University of Notre Dame, showed that mothers and babies who sleep close to each other enjoy similar protective sleep patterns. Mothers enjoy a heightened awareness of their baby’s presence, what I call a “nighttime sleep harmony,” that protects baby. The co-sleeping mother is more aware if her baby’s well-being is in danger.
Babies who sleep close to their mothers enjoy “protective arousal,” a state of sleep that enables them to more easily awaken if their health is in danger, such as breathing difficulties.
Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding easier, which provides many health benefits for mother and baby.
More infant deaths occur in unsafe cribs than in parents' bed.
Co-sleeping tragedies that have occurred have nearly always been associated with dangerous practices, such as unsafe beds, or parents under the influence of substances that dampen their awareness of baby.
Research shows that co-sleeping infants cry less during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which can interfere with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.
Infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.
A recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol.

So don't listen to the idiots behind this ad campaign. Listen to SCIENCE. Safe cosleeping is just that: safe! My 18 month old has slept in the bed with us since he was about 6 months old. Before that, he was in a bassinet immediately adjacent to the bed and he has never been in a crib. We don't even own one! As a breastfeeding mama, it just makes things SO much easier on everyone. It also keeps him feeling safe, secure, and comfortable next to his mommy. Plus, I get to wake up to this each morning:

No meat cleavers in sight

Stick to beer, Milwaukee!

I Care About Babies More Than I Care About Your Feelings

2011-11-02T12:13:00.002-04:00

Hospitals are a lot of times not the best place to get support or advice with breastfeeding. They are very quick to shove a bottle in a baby's mouth, sometimes against mom's wishes, and some (like the one I gave birth in) hand out evil "breastfeeding support" bags that contain bottles, formula coupons, and sample cans of formula. I was even given two, because my "big" 8 and half pounder was "probably going to eat a lot". Insert eyeroll here.

So it was super refreshing to see this, a sticker in the window of a nursery in a hospital in Georgia:

Warning: Using infant formula may increase the risk of a child developing
diabetes, allergies, ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, cholera, ear infections,
SIDS, childhood cancer, especially lymphomas, and Hodgkin's disease.
BREASTFEEDING IS THE HEALTHY WAY TO FEED BABIES.

First of all, huge props to John D. Archibald Memorial Hospital! This is awesome!

However, a lot of people on Facebook seem to think that this sticker is "not nice". Well... I don't see anything offensive about this. It's not mean, it's not inflammatory, it's not insulting to mothers who choose for some reason not to breastfeed. It doesn't say "If you don't breastfeed your baby will DIE." Nope. It just states facts. They're certainly not sugar-coated, but they shouldn't be. Last time I checked, facts didn't get farted out by unicorns. They just ARE. So if this offends you, you should probably ask yourself WHY that is. If you made an educated decision to formula-feed, own it. Why be offended if you know and acknowledge theses facts? If you weren't aware of these risks but are now informed, make a better choice next time. If you're offended because you KNOW formula is a subpar choice but chose it anyway (barring medical necessity), well, that's your problem, not mine or that of this awesome sticker's manufacturer.

And even if for some reason that I'm not catching onto it truly ISN'T nice... who freaking cares? Not me. And it's not because I'm a heartless bitch. It's because I care more about babies than the feelings of defensive formula-feeding parents. If one mother rethinks her feeding decision because of this sign, it is worth a thousand mothers getting their feewings hurt.

This message needs to be on every can of formula and in every hospital in America. Babies' health > adults' fragile emotions.

Shocking Display of Nudity at Local Family Festival

2011-10-24T15:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, on a family outing to a pumpkin patch/fall festival, I witnessed a BIG FAT PIG who dared to nurse her MULTIPLES in public. Her babies (toddlers?) just walked right up to the boobs and started going at it. She didn't even bother to cover herself! I snapped a photo so you can see for yourself:

But can you believe it? No one batted an eye! In fact, there were a lot of "Awww"s and "How sweet"s.

Now if only nursing humans could start getting the same treatment and respect as pigs...

I Was Wrong

2011-10-21T16:11:00.001-04:00

Sometimes people get pissy with me and leave blog comments or write me emails complaining about how rude I am. They usually go something like this:

Who the #$%^ do you think you are, telling meeeeee how to raise myyyyy precious snowflake?! I know best for myyyy child! Blah blah blah! You are so mean for telling me I'm wrong and it hurt my feewings! Blah!

Well, blog-commenters and email-writers of the world, I am sorry that you allowed a blog to hurt your feelings and invalidate your parenting choices. But that's not my intent here. I'm here to educate. Yeah, I'm a little abrasive and a little confrontational, but I've gotta get your attention somehow. And seriously, don't feel so bad when I tell you you're wrong. I used to be wrong, too, about lots of things. But then I learned better! And when you know better, you do better. Right? Right.

For example:

I was wrong about circumcision. I used to think it was totally normal to cut off pieces of babies' genitalia. But then I got pregnant with a boy. And then I actually thought about it. And did hundreds of hours of research. And now look at me!
I was wrong about breastfeeding. Well, sort of. I knew that my two sisters and I were breastfed so it has always been totally normal to me (I remember it being called "milky"), but I do remember raising an eyebrow when my mom told me that my youngest sister nursed at night until she was 3 years old. Now I know that "extended" breastfeeding is totally normal and extremely beneficial. My 18 month old is a boobie-fiend, and the end is nowhere in sight!
I was wrong about babywearing. I thought Baby Bjorn carriers were totally awesome. They must be, because they're so expensive, right? But after wearing my very expensive (gifted) Baby Bjorn all of two times, I learned that they and other "crotch-danglers" (Snuggli, Infantino, etc.) can actually be harmful to a baby's development and there are MUCH better carriers out there.
I was wrong about cosleeping. Putting a baby in a crib from day one teaches healthy sleep habits, right? And who wants a baby in their bed anyway?! Well, apparently me. And, as I have come to find out, human babies are SUPPOSED to sleep with their moms. Just like every other mammal on the planet.
I might be wrong about vaccines. Research still in progress.
I was wrong about cloth diapers. I thought they were gross. And stinky. And THE POOP. But you know what? Poop is gross anyway. And I have given cloth a shot. Aaaand.... we are now full-time cloth diapering! More on my conversion in an upcoming post.

I'm sure I've been wrong about other things here and there. But, I could be mistaken.

I can see it already...

Well, that's your opinion. IIIII think that it's best to cut body parts off of children, give babies artificial milk from a plastic artificial boob, use dangerous baby-wearing devices, wrap baby butts in chemical paper, and put my baby in a cage down the hall from me. AND THAT'S MY OPINION.

Here's the thing though, hypothetical blog-commenter/email-writer: You are certainly entitled to your own opinion. You can have all the opinions your little mind can handle. But you are NOT entitled to your own facts. The FACTS are:

It is unnecessary and unethical to remove any body part from any baby, male or female, for nonmedical reasons
Formula is not even close to being as good as breastmilk
No one should be dangled by their crotch
Babies are meant to sleep with their mothers
Cloth diapers are cool

So please. Next time you get offended and want to write a huffy comment, keep in mind that I have poured hours of research into doing the right thing. I'm not telling you that you're stupid or dumb or terrible. Just that I think you're wrong. I get it, no one likes being wrong. But if thinking a little more deeply about things and admitting you MIGHT be wrong may benefit your tiny human, what is there to lose?

Why I Signed My Baby Up For Preemptive Gallbladder Removal Surgery

2011-09-27T00:18:00.000-04:00

Three years ago, I had to have an emergency cholecystectomy. I went to the emergency room in unbearable pain, and the next thing I knew, I was being told that my gallbladder needed to be removed, while a friendly nurse was shoving a mask over my face and telling me to count backward from ten. When I woke up, the surgeon told me that my gallbladder was seriously diseased and packed full of stones. He said that if I hadn't had the surgery, I could have DIED.

So after giving it some thought, I've signed Liam up for a routine cholecystectomy.

What I went through sucked, and I would never wish it upon anyone, especially my son. By removing his gallbladder, his risk of gallbladder disease will be brought down to ZERO. And I think I should definitely get it done for him NOW instead of letting him potentially go through all the crap I did later on in life. Especially since the recovery for me as an adult was pretty rough. If he gets it done at a young age he won't remember!

It's not like he NEEDS his gallbladder. It's just an extra body part and he can totally live without it. I don't have one anymore and I'm fine. My scars are hardly even noticeable!

See? Not even a big deal.

The procedure is actually REALLY simple these days. They don't even cut you open! It's done laparoscopically, so it's just a few tiny incisions. The only difference between my surgery and Liam's is that he won't need general anesthesia. I'm sending him in with a lollipop though. That will keep him distracted from what's going on. If he cries or screams at all it will only be because he is tied down to the table. He'll thank me one day when he realizes that I saved him from a most certain fate of infection and pain.

...Makes perfect sense. Right?

5 Unacceptable Reasons Not to Breastfeed

2011-09-20T15:20:00.002-04:00

I hear a lot of excuses given by women as to why they can't or won't breastfeed. Many of these women are victims of society and its lack of support for nursing mothers, and they believe some of these TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE reasons not to breastfeed:

1. It hurts

If it hurts, you're probably doing something wrong. Call a lactation consultant to figure out what's wrong. It's probably your baby's latch.

2. I have to work/go to school/attend extremely important social events
They have these amazing things called pumps. I know that many women don't respond very well to a pump, and I know that it can be a pain in the ass, but you can at least try. You can also get donor milk for your baby through an amazing organization called Human Milk For Human Babies. Some people get kind of weirded out by the idea of feeding their baby another woman's milk, but I'm a little more freaked out by the idea of giving my kid powdered, processed crap in a can from another SPECIES.

3. I'm not making enough milk

Many women think they can tell how much milk they produce by how much they pump, but as I mentioned above, many women do not respond as well to the pump as they do to a baby. Is your baby gaining weight? Peeing? Pooping? Smiling? You're making enough milk.

4. It will mess up my boobs

There is some debate as to whether this is actually true. Some people will tell you that it's actually pregnancy that affects the size and shape of your breasts, and others will tell you that it's breastfeeding. I have no clue which is actually correct. But in either case, if you are more concerned with the shape of your boobs than your baby's nutritional needs, just take the safe route and don't have kids at all.

I've been breastfeeding for 17 months now, and my boobies are totally awesome.

5. Formula is just as good
NO IT'S NOT NO IT'S NOT NO IT'S NOT. Seriously, it's not.

To be fair and reasonable, I guess I should include some totally acceptable reasons not to breastfeed. However, donor milk is a great option, and formula should be a last resort in most cases.

1. I am one of the two percent of women that physically cannot produce milk

2. I take medication that could kill my child/I have AIDS/I am otherwise deathly ill

3. I have had a double mastectomy

4. My child is 8 years old
5. I'm a man

Actually, now that I think about it... I'm not sure which list that last one really belongs in.

Leonidas Wouldn't Cut His Son

2011-09-14T17:49:00.001-04:00

This sword is for Persians, not penises

Spartans are tough. Brutal, even. But even they had enough compassion and common sense to know not to cut pieces off their sons. Only Jews circumcised in the days of Sparta. Plus, I'm a Spartan, so I would know!

This weekend I participated in an awesome event called the Spartan Race for the second time. This was the "sprint" version: a 4.8 mile race with a dozen or so obstacles thrown in - one of which was climbing a mountain. No big deal. After walking 2.5 miles uphill, scaling 10-foot walls, hauling a bucket of gravel up and down a mountainside, and swimming in cold, murky water, I found myself facedown in a pit of reeking mud, with rows of barbed wire only inches above me.

You're probably asking right about now why the heck I would do such a thing. It's so I can get totally kickass pictures of myself, obviously.

Found on a mountain near you

Anyway, as I pulled myself through the mud, I looked to my left and saw a flash of blue on a man's wrist - and wouldn't ya know, it was a bracelet identical to the one on my own wrist from the Whole Network! Neither of us had time to chat, as we were both a little busy eating mud, and I was pretty hellbent on beating my husband's time (I did, by six and a half minutes), but the excitement from seeing a fellow baby-saver crawling alongside me in the mud (what a metaphor!) gave me the strength to surge ahead of the pack and finish as the third place female in my heat.

The bracelet is there, I promise

So there you have it. Spartans keep their babies whole. A big Spartan AROO to intactivists on mountaintops! Where was the most unusual or unexpected place you sported your intactivist gear, or encountered a fellow intactivist?

A Candle For Jen

2011-09-11T10:54:00.000-04:00

I am taking a break from my usual scathing tone to offer my sympathy and condolences to an amazing fellow intactivist momma, who found out a week ago, at 36 weeks gestation, that her precious baby was gone.

Though Jen received this news a week ago, she is still waiting for her body to naturally deliver her baby. Members of the ihe intactivist community are lighting up Facebook for Jen in this dark time, by posting lit candles as their profile pictures.

This candle is for you Jen. We are all with you, every step of the way!

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/09/my-heart-for-jennifer.html

My Thoughts on 9/11

2011-09-11T10:39:00.003-04:00

This about sums it up.

San Francisco Bans Barbaric Practice

2011-09-02T16:37:00.001-04:00

Finally, a city has taken the initiative to ban one of the most barbaric, cruel, unnecessary form of torture known to...

...cats.

Yes, cats!

I recently stumbled across an article from 2009 that describes the ordinance that was passed in a 9-2 Board of Supervisors vote, banning the declawing of cats for non-therapeutic reasons. The fine for unnecessarily removing a cat's claws is $1,000 and up to six months in jail. The ordinance states that it is "inappropriate to remove parts of an animal's anatomy, therebycausing the animal pain and suffering, and restricting and altering itsnatural behaviors, simply to fit the owner's lifestyle, aesthetics orconvenience."

Meanwhile, AB768, a bill protecting the rights of parents to needlessly cut body parts off their babies so they aren't inconvenienced by teaching their sons to shower or use condoms, was unanimously passed by the state Senate in California, and is now headed to the state Assembly for final approval.

The bill, authored by assemblyman Mike Gatto, states that "male circumcision has a wide array of health and affiliative benefits" (Really? Not a single medical organization in the world agrees with you, Mike) and that "nolocal statute, ordinance, or regulation, or administrative actionimplementing a local statute, ordinance, or regulation shall prohibitor restrict the practice of male circumcision, or the exercise ofparental authority with respect to the same."

Doesn't he just look like a nice guy?

So... people aren't allowed to put their CATS through painful, unnecessary surgeries, but if it's their kid (and only if it's a boy) it's a protected right?

If this makes as little sense to you as it does to me, email Mr. Gatto, or call his office at (916) 319-2043.

Crying it Out Vs. Cosleeping - And There Will Be A Quiz

2011-08-25T23:36:00.000-04:00

I cannot stand the "cry-it-out" method of getting babies to sleep. I don't have much to say on the subject other than I think it's lazy, neglectful, and damaging. If you don't want to actually parent, don't have kids. It's very simple.

And if you ever find yourself saying this:

I did cry it out when my kids were both 2 months old... I never let them cry past 45 minutes.

Then it is time to look up the nearest adoption agency and drop your kids off there immediately.

Someone said this on Babycenter's Facebook page, in a thread discussing the CIO method of "sleep-training", and I wish I knew this person's address so I could report them to Child Protective Services. Two months old? TWO FREAKING MONTHS? For nearly an hour? If your mommy instincts don't kick in after ten seconds of hearing your newborn cry, something is seriously wrong with you, and you should probably sign up for a hysterectomy as soon as possible.

This MEANS something!

I understand that parents of babies get sleep-deprived. But guess what? That's what you signed up for! Babies cry. They don't do it to manipulate you; they do it to communicate their needs. They may need to be fed, they may need to be changed... and sometimes, they just need to be held. Yes, that is a NEED! Babies NEED love and affection. And when you ignore that need because you want a few extra hours of shut-eye, you're instilling a little thing into your child called learned helplessness. Basically, you're telling your kid that mommy isn't coming, so you may as well stop trying. That's why CIO "works". You're not teaching healthy sleep habits; you're teaching loneliness and abandonment. Congrats! Parent of the year.

One solution I can offer to parents who are just not getting enough sleep is something I have been doing for 16 months with tremendous results: cosleeping! I know there is some sort of weird stigma surrounding having your kid sleep in your bed with you, but my question is: Why? I don't like to sleep alone. Why should I expect my baby to? Babies that cosleep sleep better, feel a more secure relationship with their parents, and have a reduced risk of SIDS (it is thought that babies will synchronize their breathing and sleep cycles to their mothers when laying next to her; mom will also notice more easily if baby does stop breathing). It also makes things a heck of a lot easier on breastfeeding mothers, who can just pop a boob in baby's mouth and drift back off to sleep with him.

So what sounds better? A) Neglecting your baby's needs by abandoning him in a room by himself to cry to the point of exhaustion? Or B) Cuddling, snuggling, nursing your baby to sleep in the comfort of Mommy and Daddy's bed? If you answered B - Ding ding ding! You are smart! You are a winner! If you answered A - Return to the beginning of this post, reread, and try again. And use birth control until you can pass this quiz.

A happy, well-rested, co-sleepin' babe!

Why Are They Doing This?

2011-08-09T13:42:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine recently showed her three sons a video of a neonatal circumcision. They are 9, 11, and 14 years old. All three are intact, and she says the subject of circumcision has never come up in their family. Here is their reaction to the procedure (fast forward about two minutes; the first part of the video they are watching is just prep and the doctor talking about the risks of the surgery):

Why are they doing this?
This is horrible! These people are horrible!
The video even made a teenaged boy lose his appetite. I hear that doesn't happen too easily.

Three kids can figure it out. When will the rest of the world?

What Do Purses, Shoes, and Boobs Have in Common?

2011-08-05T22:41:00.001-04:00

...I don't know. Do you?

The other day I received this message in my Facebook inbox:

It's that time of year again, it's breast cancer awareness month!! So we all remember the first game of writing your bra color as your status?! and then last year we did where you put your purse..... Well this year, it's slightly different. You need to write your shoe size,( just the number) followed by the word 'inches' and then sad face :-(:-( Remember last year so many people took part it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status's mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! Go on ladies!!..... 1) put your shoe size and the word inches in your status with sad face 2) forward this message PRIVATELY to all your FEMALE friends. 3) have fun watching others try to figure out what this is and help raise awareness and funds for cancer research!

This is the stupidest thing I have ever read.

First of all, breast cancer awareness month is in October.

...not August.

Second of all... what on EARTH does the sender of this message think that SHOE SIZES, or where she puts her purse, or the color of her bra have to do with breast cancer awareness?

Ok, I can sort of understand the bra thing. At least bras have SOMETHING to do with boobs. But shoes? Purses? I don't get it. DUMB. The bigger problem I have with all three of these things though, is the suggestiveness of the phrasings used. "8 and a half inches"? "In the back seat of my car"? You're not raising breast cancer awareness. You're posting a sexually suggestive and attention-grabbing status under the ruse of breast cancer awareness. It's fucking dumb. You get all the women to virtually *winkwink* at you because we're all in on some big joke, and the clueless men's minds jump to what you WANT them to jump to and then you let them in on the big secret, chastise them for having dirty minds, and let them know that you've just raised their awareness of breast cancer. Yeah, dumb. It does zilch for the actual cause, and sexualizes something that really just doesn't need to be sexy. Do we really need to further objectify women and their bodies? Sure, sex sells. But these kinds of things do a huge disservice to women. Especially nursing mothers, who fight the boobies are for sex crowd on a daily basis.

Entirely unhelpful.
And WTF is up with men being left out of the loop?!

If you want to actually DO something about breast cancer, I have a way better idea: Don't post some stupid, sexually charged Facebook status. Instead, breastfeed. Encourage a friend to breastfeed. Post a Facebook status about the reduced cancer risks in breastfeeding women AND their daughters.

THIS is fighting cancer!

Yes, breastfeeding reduces your risk of breast cancer! I have a grandmother who survived it, and I promise you that when you write "9 inches ;)" as your Facebook status, it contributes NOTHING to me and my increased risk. But the fact that I have been breastfeeding for 15 and a half months, and will be continuing indefinitely? Now THAT is actually doing something. For every one and a half to two years that a woman breastfeeds over the course of her life, her risk of developing breast cancer decreases. Even cooler is the fact that if you breastfeed a baby girl, HER risk is decreased as well.

So please, this week for World Breastfeeding Week, this October for Breastfeeding Awareness Month, and during all the other weeks and months that people develop cancer, try to actually DO something for the cause you claim to care so much about. Educate someone. Educate yourself. Save your boobies by using them!

Wanna See My Boobs?

2011-08-03T13:27:00.001-04:00

It's World Breastfeeding Week! And in its honor, I'd like to share some photos of my little man nursing. But first, I'd like to address a misconception that some people seem to have about women that nurse in public or share photos of their little ones nursing.

Some people seem to think that we breastfeeders are exhibitionists, just trying to get attention by whipping our boobs out in public and posting pictures of them on the internet. But anyone who knows me in real life knows that this could not possibly be true, at least in my case. Contrary to my blogging persona, I am actually a very introverted and somewhat shy person, and I don't really like confrontation. However, I will not hesitate to educate others or correct ignorance when it comes to a matter as important as this.

I feel that in order to normalize breastfeeding, people need to SEE women doing it openly and publicly, in person and in photos on the internet and social networks. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, it is not yet viewed by mainstream society as "normal" to breastfeed. So I do my part as much as I can. I don't seek attention, but I absolutely do not make any attempt to hide myself away when I feed my baby boy. I thank women that I see nursing in public. And today, I walked through Toys R Us with a 15-month-old latched on!

I will continue to do these things. I will continue nurse in public, and I will continue to post breastfeeding pictures online - not for attention, but because it needs to become normal again. When we hide it from society by sending mothers away to private rooms and shaming them into covering themselves, we are making it taboo and uncomfortable. We should go to private rooms to poop. But not to feed our babies!

So, without further ado, a sampling of my contribution to normalizing breastfeeding in public. If you are boobophobic, look no further. Otherwise, enjoy these pictures of my adorable Liam eating nature's perfect food!

5 months old, at the zoo.
This is one of my favorite pictures.

5 months old, again at the zoo.

8 months old and having lunch.

9 months old - at an indoor pool, shortly before
being harassed and asked to move to a bathroom :(

Last night, at 15 months - having a bedtime snack and as happy as can be!

Happy World Breastfeeding Week, and keep whippin' em out!

Oh, Hypocrisy...

2011-07-29T14:28:00.001-04:00

A San Francisco judge expressed yesterday his support for a reversal of the federal ban on female genital mutilation.

Yep, Judge Douchecanoe ruled yesterday that the banning of male circumcision be taken off San Francisco's November ballot, based on freedom of religion and the fact that he did not feel it was within the city's rights to "regulate medical procedures". Based on this line of reasoning I can only assume that he feels the same way about female circumcision. It is, after all, a religious ritual practiced by many Muslims, and in most cases it is carried out in a doctor's office, making it a "medical procedure."

So, Judge Douchecanoe: When will you be starting your petition to allow female circumcision in your city? Surely you aren't sexist, and don't believe that girls' genitals are the only ones worth protecting?

Meanwhile, a bill in New Jersey that would ban Botox injections in minors marches forward. "It is dangerous enough for adults," says assemblyman Herb Conoway. "Children certainly shouldn't be subjected to this procedure."

While I am disappointed that the circumcision ban was removed from the ballot this year, I still have faith that this barbaric, outdated, disgusting practice will be outlawed in my lifetime.

A Serious Parenting Dilemma

2011-07-24T15:57:00.003-04:00

Last week, I went to a nearby high school track with Shawn, Liam, and my dad. As we walked on to the track and started to stretch, an elderly couple, walking hand-in-hand around the track, caught my eye. Awww, I thought to myself. How cute!

Well. Looks can be deceiving. The man approached Shawn, who was pushing Liam in our City Mini jogging stroller, and sternly told him: "You can't have that on the track. The sign says no vehicles."

And indeed, that is exactly what "the sign" says:

But Shawn told the angry old man that a stroller is not a "vehicle", and we bring the stroller to the track all the time. "Well that's illegal!" snarled the man. "Call the cops!" I snarled right back. The man hastily stomped off the track with his wife and we started our three mile run - during which, we noticed the sweet couple circling the property. I assume they were looking for some sort of authority figure to tell off us young whippersnappers, and correct our criminal ways. No such authority figure materialized.

So, the Serious Parenting Dilemma: is a stroller a vehicle? Well, dictionary.com says a vehicle is "any means in or by which someone travels or something is carried or conveyed; a means of conveyance or transport". So maybe it is. Sorry, old man. I guess you were right... but was it really such a big effing deal? It is a JOGGING stroller, after all.

To avoid any further confrontation when returning to the track from now on, we'll just park the stroller and make Liam run with us (and no, this video is not sped up - he is really that fast!):

Problem solved!

One Pro-Circ Argument I Actually Agree With

2011-07-14T17:01:00.001-04:00

In the past year and a half or so that I have considered myself an intactivist, I have come across comparisons of male and female genital mutilation in many a debate. There is always at least one person who states, usually in a tone of outrage, that female genital mutilation is in NO WAY comparable to male circumcision and that they are TOTALLY different.

And I agree. Behold, the result of a female circumcision:

No, the cotton ball was not excised from anyone's vagina. But that tiny speck ON the cotton ball is part of an infant girl's clitoris. You may not even be able to see it, depending on the settings on your monitor. And if you're reading this on a phone, you probably can't see it at all. But trust me, it's there.

So yeah, I agree. Male circumcision and female circumcision aren't the same. Male circumcision - in this case at least - is WAY WORSE. It removes what will grow into 15 square inches of healthy tissue. This little girl had less tissue removed than I do when I cut myself shaving.

Probably what you think of when
you hear "female circumcision";
but actually not incredibly common

I think when most people think of female circumcision, they think of adolescent girls being held down, kicking and screaming, while a tribal elder hacks away with a rusty razor blade. But this child was only 3 months old. The procedure was performed with sterile tools in a doctor's office. And, according to the girl's mother, she didn't even cry - in fact, she even giggled!

There are several different types of female circumcision. All of them are awful. But the one people think of most often - the removal of the clitoris, clitoral hood, and labia, with the opening to the vagina being sewn shut - is actually the rarest. The most common type is the removal of only the clitoral hood, which is the equivalent of the male foreskin. This is done for many of the same reasons people in our society circumcises male infants: hygiene, disease prevention, aesthetics, religion, etc. It is usually performed in a sterile environment such as a hospital or doctor's office.

Some religious circumcisions, or Sunats, remove even less. They might only consist of a pinprick, or the removal of a barely visible piece of flesh, as pictured above on the cotton ball. And the pro-circers are right on this one: It's NOTHING like a typical male circumcision.

So, to my readers who do not support a ban on male circumcision (based on the poll to the right, there are at least 50 of you): surely you think the ban on female circumcision should be overturned? The female circumcision pictured above is obviously far less harmful than the typical male circumcision. Don't be a hypocrite. Either all of our children deserve protection from genital mutilation or none of them do.

We Are NOT All Erica

2011-07-06T13:29:00.001-04:00

There's a rather divisive issue circulating through the natural-minded online mommy circles. The Facebook status "We are all Erica" can be frequently seen, usually followed by 30+ comments.

I, for one, am not Erica.

Just who is this Erica, and why is she stirring up such controversy? Erica Henderson is the mother of six children who were recently taken forcefully from their parents by Child Protective Services. The family is now asking strangers to sign petitions, write letters to judges, harass court officers, and make donations of money and breastmilk for the youngest children who are still nursing.

The father, Jeffrey Henderson, has previously admitted to physically abusing his oldest son, to the point of leaving welts on his body (that child is now in the custody of Erica's mother). They circumcised their sons AT HOME with nonsterile equipment, in a house that had no running water. After an incident in which their then 8-week-old son nearly drowned in rising flood waters, the family was ordered to stay nearby and in touch with CPS for a set amount of time; instead, they fled the state. They are antagonistic, rude, and have a long-standing reputation for becoming confrontational with anyone that disagrees with them. In fact, the Hendersons and their followers harassed a well-known blogger to the point that she chose to deactivate her personal Facebook page.

Not exactly candidates for parents of the year. So why are so many people opening up their lives and their wallets for these people that they've never even MET? My guess is that if the Henderson children were not breastfed, we wouldn't be hearing nearly as much about them, and their Paypal accounts wouldn't be nearly as active.

Do not get me wrong. Breastfeeding is amazing. It is, in my opinion, the only way a baby should ever be fed. But breastfeeding does not necessarily make a good mother. Breastfeeding does not even make a halfway decent mother. Yep, Erica makes wonderful choices when it comes to the way her children are nourished, but I really can't get past the whole letting her husband cut her babies thing. I think that we lactivists can be a little too eager to throw our efforts into supporting "our own" when there is really a lot more going on.

Do the babies need breastmilk? Absolutely, and I greatly admire all those who have been generous enough to donate their own milk to them. Was it traumatic for the kids to be ripped away from their family so suddenly? Of course it was. Is it such a terrible thing that the kids are not with their parents? ...Maybe not.

Happy Fourth of July!

2011-07-04T11:07:00.000-04:00

Enjoy the day! I hope it's filled with fireworks, family, and fun.

I pledge allegiance to my flag and the republic for which it stands: one nation indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

-The ORIGINAL Pledge of Allegiance, 1892.

Pull The Stick Out

2011-07-03T14:33:00.000-04:00

In light of recent news in the state of New York, I thought I would take some time to let my views on this controversial subject be known:

If we are friends and you are against gay marriage, I don't want to be your friend anymore.

Seriously. If you think that the basic right of marriage should be denied to someone based on what's between their and their partner's legs, you are a shitty human being.

Can anyone give me ONE good reason why gay marriage is a bad thing? Don't tell me it's because the BIIIIBLE says so. Your Bible is irrelevant to me, and I thought Levitican laws were irrelevant to your lot too. And don't tell me it "destroys the sanctity of marriage". If Bob and Jim's marriage affects your relationship with your spouse in any way, I suggest couples counseling. Immediately.

Why don't you just come out and admit it: you're scared of the unfamiliar. Rejecting homosexuality on the basis of religious beliefs is one thing - these people are brainwashed, I guess they can't help it. But some people don't seem to think of it as wrong, but, rather, are frightened of it. I don't know how many adult males I have seen make a big show of trying to prove that they aren't gay, and that they think that anyone who is is disgusting.

Really, it's ok to be gay.

Maybe you've been taught by your parents or church or society that it's not ok. But ohmygod. THINK for a second. So some people are attracted to people who have the same set of gentialia as them. SO WHAT?! Why is that so awful? Maybe you're not gay, maybe it's just not your cup of tea. But why be so opposed to something that affects you in NO way? Who am I or you to tell anyone who to love or the right way to love said person? If you feel you have that right, please, reach behind you, find that piece of wood protruding from your anus, and PULL THE STICK OUT.

But hey, I'm not gay, man! I don't put shit in my ass! Seriously, that shit is wack, man! Oh. Right.

One More Reason to Rear-Face Your Baby

2011-06-30T13:13:00.000-04:00

After reading countless articles, blogs, and parenting forums about the safety of extended rear-facing, I've come to the decision that Liam will be rear-facing in the car for a minimum of two years. Probably a lot longer though, since he is on the leaner side and probably won't outgrow the weight limits of his seat (40 pounds) for quite some time.

But none of the research I've done has mentioned this added benefit of rear-facing:

Yep, that's me, nursing Liam in the car (please excuse my disheveled post-workout appearance). How the heck am I supposed to do that if he's facing forward?! I may have been breastfeeding for over a year now, but I don't have Amazon Jungle Lady boobs quite yet.

The Elephant in the Hospital

2011-06-29T08:08:00.001-04:00

This is one of the most well-done and informative videos I have ever seen on the subject of circumcision. It is a presentation that was recently given at Georgetown University. It's a bit long - about 30 minutes - but if you're thinking about cutting your baby, isn't he worth half an hour of your time to learn exactly what you're doing to him?

If you have a YouTube account, comment on the video and ask that Georgetown make this video public. It is currently unlisted, meaning it can only be seen by those who have the link to it (which now includes you!). But it needs to be seen by EVERYONE!

Which Is More? 30 or 1,000?

2011-06-28T21:00:00.002-04:00

As of today, it is illegal to sell a drop-side crib in the United States. Can't put them on the shelves at Babies R Us. Can't sell them at your summer yard sale. Can't donate them to any charities.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission says this is because drop-sides have the potential to loosen, and then trap and kill infants. In fact, these cribs have caused the deaths of approximately 30 children in the past decade.

This does not affect me or my family in any way, since we co-sleep and have never owned a crib.

Meanwhile... at least 100 babies die every year from complications of circumcision. That means that in the same timespan as the 30 drop-side crib deaths, 1,000 baby boys have been killed as a direct result of a pointless surgery. One THOUSAND. Last I checked, 1000>30.

Circumcision actually kills more neonates than car accidents, suffocation, sleep positioners, AND drop-side cribs COMBINED.

But it's still a legal choice.

Can someone explain this logic to me? Three freak crib accidents a year? Ban the cribs! 100 babies bleeding to death each year after having their genitals ripped apart and cut into? Continue to push the needless surgery on uninformed parents and nonconsenting babies!

Uh huh. Makes perfect sense...

2.3 ounces of blood

One of the most common deadly complication

of circumcision is hemorrhage. A baby only needs

to lose one ounce of blood to hemorrhage.

And 2.3 ounces to die.

A newborn can lose this amount of blood very,

very quickly and a lot of times the bleeding

isn't noticed until it's too late.

For more information on death by circumcision:

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/death-from-circumcision.html
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/pdf/specialstatement.pdf
http://www.cirp.org/library/death/
http://www.mensstudies.com/content/b64n267w47m333x0/?p=a14d1e17c8364f348af25492d4a8dd3c&pi=5

Be Advised

2011-06-27T13:58:00.000-04:00

Oh em effing gee. I seriously cannot stop laughing.

Many thanks to my mom for sending me this article, found on 10tv.com:

DELAWARE, Ohio — A woman faces several charges after she allegedly sprayed deputies with breast milk as they tried to detain her over the weekend.
The incident occurred early Saturday morning near the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center on Sawmill Parkway.
According to the Delaware County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called to the area after receiving calls about a domestic dispute. When they arrived, a man told them that he had been attending a wedding at the facility with his wife, who had gotten drunk and struck him several times before locking herself in a car.
Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said deputies tried to talk with the woman, who was identified as Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, but she refused to cooperate.
"When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Davis said.
The deputies were eventually able to remove Robinette from the car and arrest her, Davis said.
She was later charged with domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, authorities said.
"This is a prime example of how alcohol can make individuals do things they would not normally do," Davis said.
No injuries were reported.

Bahaha! I'm really tempted to "advise" the next person who ticks me off that I'm a breastfeeding mother, and they'd better back up in the next 5 seconds or else. But, alas, that is apparently considered assault.

Now please excuse me while I nurse Liam back to sleep - I woke him from his nap with my hysterical laughter. I promise I won't spray anyone in the process.

Funny Friday: Jesus Loves You

2011-06-24T11:02:00.001-04:00

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on Christianity...

"You're saying this Jesus guy I don't even know loves me, watches me all the time, died for me for no reason, comes back as a zombie, again, for me, and now is upset that I could give a flying fuck? Does the word nutjob mean anything to you?"

With Help From Liam, The BB&B Guide to Car Seat Safety

2011-06-23T12:20:00.001-04:00

Liam has graciously agreed to help me in the writing of this blog. Please observe, several common car seat mistakes:

This is WRONG!

Why? Chest clips are for chests. Not for bellies. They are there to ensure the straps are placed appropriately across the baby's body to keep him in the seat. When the chest clip is placed incorrectly, it could cause the straps to slide off the baby's shoulders, which in turn could send baby flying in the event of a crash. When positioned as shown in this picture, it could cause serious injury to internal organs in a crash. You wouldn't punch your baby in the stomach, would you? Don't put CHEST clips across the belly. Appropriate placement is armpit/nipple level.

This is WRONG!

Why? If you're not going to tighten the straps, you may as well not even buckle the kid in at all. When they are too loose, the child could easily be ejected from the seat in an accident, or even crawl out on his own. To ensure that the straps are sufficiently tightened, do the "pinch test": If you can pinch the strap together with your fingers, it is too loose.

This is WRONG!

Why? The straps are coming out of the seat WAY too high. When forward-facing, the straps should be connected to the seat just at or right above the shoulders. When rear-facing, the straps should come out just at or just below the shoulders. When the straps are too high, it gives too much room and could allow the child to be ejected in a crash. When the straps are appropriately tightened and placed correctly, it allows for the seat to absorb the force of the crash.

And of course, it is WRONG to prematurely forward-face.

This is RIGHT!

Why? The straps are right at shoulder-level, the straps are tight and untwisted, and the chest clip is at armpit level (the baby is pretty cute, too). Liam will also be rear-facing to the limits of this seat (40 pounds) and will then be harnessed to the forward-facing limits of this seat (65 pounds).

And of course, you should ALWAYS read the manual that comes with your carseat to make sure you are using it correctly.

Thanks Liam! You can go back to destroying the living room now.

Bad Mommy Moment

2011-06-16T17:02:00.001-04:00

Even worse than formula!
Heh. JOKE.

I have a confession.

I gave my baby soda.

Sprite, to be exact.

Normally, the mere thought of anyone giving soda of any kind to a one-year-old makes my head spin. But... I kind of have an excuse.

We were at the beach over Memorial Day weekend, and it was a pretty hot day. We had Sprite for the girls and Shawn and I to drink, and Liam had a big jug of water (I know, I know, we ALL should have been drinking water). Well, Liam fell face-first into the sand... immediately after I had applied sunscreen to his face. As I'm sure you can imagine, there was sand EVERYWHERE. He was starting to rub his eyes and I had no choice but to immediately dump his water bottle on top of his head.

It fixed the sand problem, but Liam was out of water.

So when he got thirsty and was too distracted by all the beach goings-on to stay on my boob for more than two seconds, he got a few sips of Sprite. UGH. My fingers are cringing just typing it. Even nine-year-old Riley asked me what the heck I was doing!

See? I don't think I'm better than anyone. I can own up to a Bad Mommy Moment. Fortunately Liam survived it. Personally, I think it was his evil plan all along.

Bwahaha!

This Is What I Was Talking About!

2011-06-16T11:13:00.000-04:00

This is what I was trying to say in my last post, people!

Here is an excerpt from an article on Yahoo News, published yesterday:

Proponents have long advocated exclusive, ecological breast-feeding for a number of benefits and reduced health risks. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition has found that formula-fed infants have a higher incidence of Type 1 diabetes.

The results concluded that infants who had an "early introduction of complex foreign proteins" (cow's milk infant formula, grain cereals and fruits) had a 50 percent higher risk of developing B cell autoimmunity, from which Type 1 diabetes develops. Also infants who were weaned early from breast-feeding and switched to formula and cereal were at greater risk for developing Type 1 diabetes before age 5.

What I like about this article is that it isn't saying "Breastfed children are at a decreased risk of diabetes." Instead it tells it from a more truthful angle: Formula-fed children are at an INCREASED risk. This is NOT an attack. It is NOT saying formula mommies are the devil, or that formula kids are one hundred percent destined to have toes amputated while in a diabetic coma. It's just saying that this is one of the risks you take when you make a suboptimal feeding choice for your baby. I think this is the approach that articles, studies, and the medical community in general needs to start taking.

Please note that I did not say, in this post or the previous one that some of you are up in arms about, that formula creates risks or that breastfeeding eliminates them. I'm just pointing out that breastfeeding doesn't do anything special; it is formula that deviates from the norm. It is an alternative choice that does have risks. I just want people to be more aware of that fact (and it is a fact, not just my opinion).


You can't be offended by them!

Formula-Feeding Increases Risk of SIDS (Yeah, I Said It)

2011-06-15T08:21:00.001-04:00

A study recently performed by the University of Virginia found that "breastfeeding can significantly reduce the risk of SIDS. Even a short period of breastfeeding can reduce the risk of SIDS by 45 percent. Breastfeeding only, without bottle or early food supplementation, could reduce the risk by 73 percent."

I'm going to rephrase this, without the politically correct bullcrap: Formula feeding increases the risk of SIDS.

Why do we continue to phrase things this way when it comes to breastfeeding? We say that it decreases the risk of obesity, allergies, diabetes, and a long list of other negative outcomes, now including SIDS. We also say it makes healthier, smarter babies. But that's really not quite true, is it? Breastfeeding is the default. It's what we are SUPPOSED to do as mammals. It doesn't decrease the risk of anything. It just... is.

Risky behavior

Breastfeeding is the NORMAL way to feed babies. It doesn't decrease certain risks. Formula-feeding increases them because it is not the normal way to feed human children. It increases the risk of obesity. It increases the risk of allergies. It increases the risk of diabetes. And formula-fed children are, statistically speaking, fatter and dumber. This is not an attack on formula. Them's just the facts.

Why are we so afraid of presenting the facts in this way? Are we afraid of offending formula-feeding parents? I don't get it. Formula-feeding has risks. It's just a fact! People should not be offended by FACTS. If the risks of formula-feeding are risks you are willing to take, that's fine. But don't get offended when they are pointed out, or take it as an attack on formula moms.

Breast is not best; it is normal. Formula is sub-par and inferior. Not a death sentence by any means, but inferior nonetheless. Can we please start talking about it this way, instead of acting like breastfeeding is above and beyond?

WTF: Nursing Stations

2011-06-14T13:21:00.000-04:00

I am totally comfortable nursing in public. I will feed my son anytime and anywhere. However, some women aren't as comfortable as I am and prefer to nurse their babies in a private location. If you are one of those women, would this be acceptable to you?

I came across this "nursing station" (that's what the little sign says, if you can't quite see it in the picture) in a filthy, smelly bathroom at Fair Oaks Mall. This oh-so-comfy looking chair was directly across from the door and mirror, and was conveniently placed between two stalls.

As I mentioned (and as I'm sure my readers know from previous posts), I will whip it out anywhere. But some women prefer privacy. How does a busy mall bathroom provide privacy? Especially when the "station", consisting of one chair, is immediately visible by anyone walking into the bathroom, into or out of the bathroom stalls, or washing their hands in front of the mirror? Obviously, providing privacy is not the intent here. Rather, it is to make sure that nursing mothers are not visible to the general public in the mall.

This is terribly offensive to me, as a nursing mother. Not only does Fair Oaks Mall find it necessary to send nursing mothers the message that they must hide away to feed their babies, but they also don't think they deserve anything more than one chair in a filthy bathroom. I wouldn't eat my lunch in there. Why should my baby?

And honestly, this is kind of discriminatory. Where the heck is the formula-feeding station? According to a friend of mine, it's because "bottle feeding is socially acceptable, whereas using your breasts as Nature intended is frowned upon and requires women to be confined to a single chair between two filthy bathrooms. It's also kind of sad that they get away with just one or two chairs. However, you can find regular sitting areas all over the mall, I am surprised they don't label those." Seriously.

I have found that Nordstrom is the best about providing appropriate accommodations for nursing mothers; they have an entire sitting room set aside, labelled as a "mother's room", that is clean, private, and comfortable. I wish the rest of the world would get with it and also deem nursing mothers worthy of something other than where people shit.

Built-In Bimbo Repellent

2011-06-08T14:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think I lose IQ points when debating the pro-circ crowd, especially the ones that are totally closed off to being educated about the subject. People say some pretty dumb stuff, but this is an example of ignorance at its finest: "My son was circumcised because uncircumcised dicks look funny. They look like aardvark schlongs."

Head. Exploding.

If your only reason for cutting your son's foreskin off was to ensure it wouldn't look like an "aardvark schlong", I'm going to go ahead and say it: you are dumb.

This is yet another reason I'm so glad I decided to leave my baby boy intact. His foreskin will ensure that idiots who feel a need to make fun of his body stay far, far away. Foreskin: The built-in bimbo repellent!

Dumbasses need not apply

Seriously, why is it so acceptable to some people to make fun of the natural penis? Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid anyone ever tell a female that her genitals look funny. And you don't really hear people saying that circumcised penises look like scarred, dried out mushrooms. It's just rude. Since when are genitals supposed to look pretty anyway?

Liam, if you're reading this 20 years from now (because you won't be having sex until then, right??), please realize that anyone ignorant enough not to appreciate you for exactly who you are is not worth the time or brain cells it took me to write this sentence. You are perfect, "aardvark schlong" and all.

Hepatitis: An Update

2011-06-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

"Anonymous" will be pleased to learn that as I was doing some cleaning/organizing today, I came across a copy of Liam's shot records and discovered that he is indeed fully vaccinated against Hepatitis B. In fact, he is OVER-vaccinated. Instead of the CDC's recommended three doses, administered at birth, two months, and 6-18 months, he received the shot at birth, two months, four months, and six months. I'm a little annoyed with myself for not being more aware of this.

Did you know that since the Hepatitis B vaccine was released in 1991, it has caused 36,788 reported adverse reactions? More than a third of those were serious enough to require long-term hospitalization. It has killed 781 people. How many babies have died of Hep B in that same time period..?

To My Nameless Readers

2011-06-05T18:02:00.000-04:00

Who are you?

I love all my readers. I really do. I'm actually quite thrilled that anyone even reads this at all, so the fact that I have almost 100 followers and over 30,000 views is pretty awesome to me. Thanks for reading! I love you guys. So much, in fact, that I WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME.

There has been a recent influx of anonymous commenters on this blog. One every now and then is whatever, but recently it's just been getting annoying.

I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of Anonymous Commenters:

The first type of Anonymous Commenter knows me in real life, and wants to express some sort of dissenting opinion, but for some reason doesn't want me to KNOW that they disagree with me. They do their best to disguise their tone and writing style. But the funny thing is, I can almost always figure out the identity of this type of Anonymous Commenter, thanks to site visit logs that include your IP address, approximate latitude/longitude, and the type of computer or phone you are using. I don't understand these people. It's ok to let me know that you disagree with me. We can still be friends.
The next type of Anonymous Commenter also knows me in real life. They sign their name as "Anonymous", but then write a comment that leaves it glaringly obvious who they are. I can't help but wonder if these Anonymous Commenters are missing a few brain cells; either they really think I'm not going to know who they are as they write about personal details of my/their life, or they can't figure out how to sign their name when posting a comment.
The final type of Anonymous Commenter does not know me in real life. They may or may not agree with what I have to say, but have no apparent reason to remain anonymous. Especially irritating are those who express agreement, support, or gratitude, yet can't bring themselves to sign a name.

I really do love the fact that you are reading this right now, and I truly appreciate any and all comments. I love hearing your thoughts. But... I would also love to know where they're coming from!

I understand if you don't want to leave your name for whatever reason. But a nickname or fake name will work too. Sometimes it can get confusing when trying to figure out just who I am replying to among multiple Anonymouses. There is a pull-down tab you can click on when commenting that gives you the option of writing a name. Any name will do.

You all have great thoughts (well, most of you, anyway). You should own them!

Why Is My Baby Vaccinated Against a Sexually Transmitted Disease?

2011-06-02T16:33:00.002-04:00

I have a confession to make: Liam has not had any vaccinations since he was six months old.

*GASP* Bad mommy, right? Eh, maybe not.

Vaccinations are one of those things I accepted without question up until recently (THAT was the true mommy sin); They save lives, right? I am positive that some do... but I'm beginning to think that others are simply unnecessary.

We switched insurance carriers right before Liam's nine-month checkup and had to go to a new doctor's office. I forgot to bring his shot records from the old doctor on the day of the appointment, so they couldn't give him any shots at that time. They told me I would have to take him back in during "shot clinic hours" to get the one vaccine they administered at nine months: Hepatitis B.

So I went back home and gathered Liam's shot records. And then... I didn't take him back. I thought to myself: Why on earth does he need to be vaccinated against this disease anyway? Here, according to the National Institutes of Health, are the causes of Hepatitis B:

blood transfusions
direct contact with blood in health care settings
sexual contact with an infected person
tattoo or acupuncture with unclean needles
shared needles during drug use
shared personal items (such as toothbrushes, razors, and nail clippers) with an infected person
can be passed during childbirth if the mother is infected

Right. And we vaccinate infants against this WHY, exactly? And not just infants. Newborns. Newborns don't have sex. They don't share needles. And I don't have hepatitis of any kind. So why, immediately after being pulled from my vagina, was my son immediately vaccinated against a sexually transmitted disease? I don't see the point.

So Liam will not be finishing his Hep B series.

But then I think some more: What ELSE is unnecessary?

I was vaccinated according to this schedule (you can click on the picture to see it enlarged):

And this is the schedule the CDC would like Liam to follow:

At Birth	Hepatitis B Dose 1 of 3	Hepatitis B virus (chronic inflammation of the liver, life-long complications)	Apr 20, 2010
1 to 2 months (part of well-baby visit)	Hepatitis B Dose 2 of 3	Hepatitis B virus (chronic inflammation of the liver, life-long complications)	May 20, 2010 to Jun 19, 2010
2 months (part of well-baby visit)	DTaP Dose 1 of 5	Diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (whooping cough)	Jun 19, 2010
	Hib Dose 1 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, or lungs (pneumonia)	Jun 19, 2010
	Polio (IPV) Dose 1 of 4	Polio	Jun 19, 2010
	Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) § Dose 1 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, inner ears, or lungs (pneumonia)	Jun 19, 2010
	Rotavirus ** Dose 1 of 3	Rotavirus diarrhea (and vomiting)	Jun 19, 2010
4 months (part of well-baby visit)	DTaP Dose 2 of 5	Diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (whooping cough)	Aug 18, 2010
	Hib Dose 2 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, or lungs (pneumonia)	Aug 18, 2010
	Polio (IPV) Dose 2 of 4	Polio	Aug 18, 2010
	Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) § Dose 2 of 4	infections of the blood, brain, joints, inner ears, or lungs (pneumonia)	Aug 18, 2010
	Rotavirus ** Dose 2 of 3	Rotavirus diarrhea (and vomiting)	Aug 18, 2010
6 months (part of well-baby visit)	DTaP Dose 3 of 5	Diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (whooping cough)	Oct 17, 2010
	Hib Dose 3 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, or lungs (pneumonia)	Oct 17, 2010
	Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) § Dose 3 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, inner ears, or lungs (pneumonia)	Oct 17, 2010
	Rotavirus ** Dose 3 of 3	Rotavirus diarrhea (and vomiting)	Oct 17, 2010
6 to 18 months	Hepatitis B Dose 3 of 3	Hepatitis B (chronic inflammation of the liver, life-long complications)	Oct 17, 2010 to Oct 17, 2011
6 to 18 months	Polio (IPV) Dose 3 of 4	Polio	Oct 17, 2010 to Oct 17, 2011
6 months or older	Influenza Dose 1 of 2	Flu and complications	Oct 17, 2010 or later
6 months or older	Influenza Dose 2 of 2	Flu and complications	Nov 14, 2010 or later, and one dose yearly thereafter
12 to 15 months	Hib Dose 4 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, or lungs (pneumonia)	Apr 20, 2011 to Jul 19, 2011
	Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) § Dose 4 of 4	Infections of the blood, brain, joints, inner ears, or lungs (pneumonia)	Apr 20, 2011 to Jul 19, 2011
	MMR Dose 1 of 2	Measles, mumps, and rubella (German measles)	Apr 20, 2011 to Jul 19, 2011
	Varicella Dose 1 of 2	Chickenpox	Apr 20, 2011 to Jul 19, 2011
12 to 23 months	Hepatitis A Dose 1 of 2	Hepatitis A virus (inflammation of the liver)	Apr 20, 2011 to Apr 19, 2012
15 to 18 months	DTaP Dose 4 of 5	Diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (whooping cough)	Jul 19, 2011 to Oct 17, 2011
18 months or older	Hepatitis A Dose 2 of 2, (follows 6 months after Dose 1)	Hepatitis A virus (inflammation of the liver)	Oct 17, 2011 or later
4 to 6 years	DTaP Dose 5 of 5	Diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (whooping cough)	Apr 19, 2014 to Apr 18, 2016
	Polio (IPV) Dose 4 of 4	Polio	Apr 19, 2014 to Apr 18, 2016
	MMR Dose 2 of 2	Measles, mumps, and rubella (German measles)	Apr 19, 2014 to Apr 18, 2016
	Varicella Dose 2 of 2	Chickenpox	Apr 19, 2014 to Apr 18, 2016
11 to 12 years	Tdap	Diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (whooping cough)	Apr 17, 2021 to Apr 17, 2022
	MCV4 * Dose 1	Meningococcal conjugate vaccine	Apr 17, 2021 to Apr 17, 2022

	HPV Dose 1 of 3	Human Papillomavirus (Females only)	Apr 17, 2021 to Apr 17, 2022
	HPV Dose 2 of 3	Human Papillomavirus (Females only)	Jun 16, 2021 to Jun 16, 2022
	HPV Dose 3 of 3	Human Papillomavirus (Females only)	Oct 14, 2021 to Oct 14, 2022

Holy moly. A bit of a difference there, huh? In addition to Hep B (has there been a massive outbreak of sexually active, drug-injecting infants since the 1980s?), several vaccines have been added to the schedule, including Hib, PCV13, rotavirus, and varicella. At this point, I am really unsure whether ALL of these shots are necessary for the well-being of my child. Vaccines have risks. I'm not sure yet how significant they are, but why would I take those risks if I don't need to?

Right now, I am undecided on Liam's future vaccination schedule. At his 12 month checkup I declined all shots until I have done further research and made up my mind how to proceed. His 15 month appointment is in July and I still haven't decided. So I want to know: What are YOUR thoughts? What schedule do you follow, if any, and how did you come to your decision?

I used to think it was irresponsible not to vaccinate. But now I feel irresponsible for not taking this decision seriously from the beginning.

The BB&B Top Ten Tips For Divorced Parents

2011-05-31T22:58:00.001-04:00

So sorry for my prolonged absence from the blog. You were probably beginning to wonder if I was raptured. Fortunately I am still here on Earth, though I have been quite busy wrapping up all my schoolwork and taking exams. The semester is finally over though, and we now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Today's topic: Divorce, its effect on children, and how divorced parents should behave.

I am not a divorced parent. I am happily married to my son's father and I don't anticipate ever having to follow my own advice. So why am I writing this post? Well, I actually feel pretty well qualified to speak about this subject. I have experienced it from the perspective of a child whose parents went through a long, bitter divorce, and I am now married to a man who is divorced from the mother of his two daughters.

I know divorce isn't easy. It's hard on everyone involved - but it's REALLY hard on the kids. In most cases, divorced parents probably have anger and animosity toward each other, but it is NEVER an excuse for shitty parenting. If you are divorced or in the process of getting divorced, please keep the following things in mind:

Do not trash talk your ex. This should really be numbers one, two, and three. It is extremely important. No kid wants to hear anyone say bad things about their parent, but what is the child supposed to do when the nasty comments come from the other parent? Kids love both their parents. So do they agree with the shit-talker? Stand up for the shit-talkee? Either way, your child will end up feeling that they are betraying SOMEONE. Do you WANT your child to feel guilty? Or are you just trying to look like the "better" parent to your child? Trust me when I say that eventually, it will backfire.
Do not trash talk your ex's family. Remember, that's also your child's family that you're putting down. I don't care if you think they are the scum of the earth; they are still your child's grandmother/grandfather/aunt/uncle/cousins and are (hopefully) permanent fixtures in his or her life.
Do not ever bring up the subject of child support in the presence of your child. EVER! It is seriously pathetic to hear a nine-year-old say to her dad "we haven't gone to the mall recently because you don't send us enough money." Child support payments and finances in general are none of a child's business. What is the point in discussing this with a kid? Are you that insecure in your role as a parent that you feel the need to pit your child against the "offending" parent over something as petty as going shopping?
Do not refer to your ex as your ex-husband/ex-wife when speaking to your child. This is SO disrespectful of the parent-child relationship that still exists outside of the broken marriage. It's not "my ex-husband" or "my ex-wife" to your child. It's mom or dad.
Encourage a relationship with the other parent. Extreme circumstances aside, there is no reason you shouldn't encourage and do your best to facilitate a relationship with your child's other parent. Kids need Mom AND Dad in their lives. Make it happen.
Encourage a relationship with your child's stepparent(s). Step-parents are going to be around for a while. It's a good idea to encourage a positive relationship, no matter what you may think of him or her.
Don't try to be the "dominant" parent. Respect your child by respecting the fact that both parents are equally important!
Don't look for things to criticize. If you are constantly drilling your kids to find something to use against your ex, you need a new hobby. Knitting, perhaps? Blogging is fun, too.
Respect your ex's parenting decisions. When mom and dad are married, parenting is a partnership and decisions are made together as a team. Ideally, divorced parents would do the same, but in reality this just doesn't happen. People are different and make different decisions. Unless your child is being put in direct danger, you have zero control over what he or she does in the other parent's care. For example: you cannot simply declare a father unfit because you don't like him exposing your children to his wife's breastfeeding advocacy.
Don't punish your child for still loving the other parent. I don't care what your ex did. He or she is still your child's mom or dad, and whatever happened between the two of you should have no bearing whatsoever on the parent-child relationship.

So there you have it. Most of these are focused around respect of the relationship between your child and your ex, which is probably the single most important thing you can do for your child while going through a divorce. I know it can be hard, but please.. just do it for your kids!

I'm No Mathematician, But...

2011-05-20T21:51:00.000-04:00

...something doesn't add up here.

I present to you the "math" that leads Harold Camping to believe the Rapture will occur tomorrow, May 21st, 2011*:

The number 5 equals “atonement”, the number 10 equals “completeness”, and the number 17 equals “heaven”. [That's weird. I always thought the number 5 equaled FIVE.]
Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449.
The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
51 + 722,449 = 722,500. [I'm still waiting for the punchline. Is my calculator going to say BOOB? I've seen this one.]
(5 × 10 × 17)² or (atonement × completeness × heaven)² also equals 722,500. [Why are we squaring? I skipped algebra the day we did rapture equations.]

So there you have it. The mathematical equation that proves beyond any doubt that tomorrow, the believers among us will be taken up to Heaven.

God damn whackadoodles. See ya on Sunday.

*This is NOT the actual mathematical analysis that Camping used, but I found it on judgementday2011.com and thought it was hilarious.

I Think I Just Threw Up In My Mouth

2011-05-20T20:42:00.001-04:00

After his video of himself sucking the blood from a baby's circumcision wound during a traditional bris ceremony was deleted by YouTube, a rabbi posted this video explaining just why exactly it is necessary to suck a baby boy's penis after his circumcision:

Yeah, definitely just threw up in my mouth a little.

I suppose that someone will try to justify this as religious tradition, but the fact of the matter is that this man should be in prison. It is absolutely mind-blowing to me what people will do and allow in the name of their religious fairy tales. The mutilation of babies' bodies is one thing, and has been justified in the name of religion for many years, but THIS is undeniable sexual abuse. Not to mention extremely risky - what if the mohel has herpes, or some other STD? Even a cold sore or small cut presents a very serious risk to a newborn with a fresh, open wound.

Why do we allow this to continue? Because we don't want to offend anybody? I'm positive the baby boys whose body parts are being ripped apart, cut off, and molested are probably pretty darn offended. Because we want to ensure everyone's freedom of religion? Babies don't have a religion, and you are imposing YOUR religion on the poor things when you take a knife (and your mouth) to their genitals.

Put down the knife, rabbi. Step away from the babies. And march yourself to the nearest jail cell, where I'm sure Bubba will be happy to put your "effective suction" to a better use.

Botox Mom: You Still Suck!

2011-05-19T16:02:00.001-04:00

Did you hear about this crazy lady last week? She appeared on Good Morning America, talking about how she injected her daughter with Botox so she would have a better chance of winning beauty pageants. She then lost custody of her daughter after child services decided to investigate.

My first thought: What eight year old has wrinkles? My second thought: Why is this a child-services-worthy offense while babies' genitals are being legally mutilated every day?

If she lied, what the hell is going on in this picture?

Anyway, according to TMZ, Botox mom is now changing her tune. Apparently she made it all up to get the money for an article in the Sun and for appearing on GMA, and she'd like her daughter back now please. Except... you're still a shitty parent, lady. Either you injected your daughter with a paralytic poison so she could win a beauty pageant (don't even get me started on those) or you lied and exploited your daughter for cash. Either way, you still suck.

WTF Georgia

2011-05-17T17:58:00.001-04:00

This just in from a town near Atlanta, Georgia:

FOREST PARK, Ga. -- A new law in metro Atlanta will limit breast feeding in public.
On Monday night, Forest Park passed a public indecency ordinance to prevent public nudity. Previously, the city only had a public indecency ordinance that covered adult entertainment businesses.
According to the law, no woman can breast feed anyone older than 2 years old in public. City manager John Parker called the law a proactive step.
“It sets up a process whereby we can try to control nudity throughout the entire city," Parker said.

Yikes... apparently nudity is a big problem down in Georgia. I have a few suggestions for new policies that might be of further help:

Outlaw all low-cut tops. Most show more cleavage than a nursing mother does.
Impose an age limit on bikinis. Since breastfeeding is only OK in public until the age of two, two-piece swimsuits should also have an age limit. Under 18 or over 35? Cover up.
Take all fashion and gossip magazines off the stands and put them behind the counter, accessible only to those who can show ID proving they are over 18.
Begin writing tickets to those whose shorts or skirts cannot pass the "fingertip test".
Hand out burkhas at the city limits.

Take note, officials of Forest Park. Now that you've got those hordes of toddler-nursing mothers under control, I just know these suggestions will serve as proactive steps to further control this rampant nudity problem in your city.

WTF Target

2011-05-13T15:26:00.000-04:00

No longer my favorite store

I went to Target today to pick up a booster seat for Alyssa, my 5-year-old stepdaughter. In the car seat aisle, there was a big poster about car seat safety and proper usage. On the bottom of the sign, directly after a sentence about proper installation, was this picture:

A friend of mine commented on the picture after I posted it on Facebook: "Apparently they just want the seat to be installed correctly. Who cares if the KID is!"

Seriously. What the hell, Target? You can't take the time to figure out where the CHEST clip should be placed before you send a car seat safety poster to print?

Chest clips are there to ensure proper placement of the straps. When the clip is too low, there is a risk that the straps could slide off the shoulders, causing baby to become a projectile in the event of a crash. It can also cause severe internal injuries when the clip is forcefully pushed against the abdomen in certain types of wrecks. It's not rocket science to figure this stuff out. I mean, it IS called a CHEST clip for a reason, so minus ten points for lack of common sense. Furthermore, I'm sure that a brand new car seat was used for this photo shoot; Target, are you telling me that you couldn't take a quick flip through the user's manual that I KNOW came in the box with this seat?

Ugh. I'm writing an email to Target in the hopes that this poster gets taken down and replaced with one that promotes proper usage. There are enough people out there doing this stuff wrong already without messages like this adding to the idiocy.

Breastmilk IS Real Food!

2011-05-09T13:07:00.000-04:00

This is an exact quote, in reference to my one-year-old nursling: Shouldn't he be done with that by now? And eating real food, and drinking regular milk?

Ok. Deep breath. First of all, NO, he shouldn't be "done with that by now". Though this information is easily accessible via a quick Google search and though I have mentioned it several times in this blog, it is information worth repeating... say it with me: the World Health Organization recommends that children nurse AT LEAST until the age of two, and after that as long as it is mutually desired by mother and child. Unfortunately it is not the norm here in the U.S. (an abysmal 12% of mothers are still nursing at one year) but it certainly is normAL, and it is quite typical in other areas of the world to nurse well beyond infancy.

Secondly, he IS drinking regular milk. I assume that by "regular" milk you mean cow's milk, but cow's milk isn't in any way regular for humans. Cow's milk is made for baby cows. Human milk is made for humans! There's nothing normal or natural about drinking the milk of another species. We are the only animals that do it! It's disgusting. I don't drink the stuff, except for the exceedingly rare craving for chocolate milk, and even then I can only stomach about half a glass. Why would I give it to my son, when I have a far superior, species-specific food right here, in a convenient and easily accessible package?

And finally, I'm seriously taking issue with the implication here that breastmilk is not "real" food. For the first year of life, it is ALL a baby needs, and even after 12 months it should still be the primary source of nutrition. It is totally normal for a one year old to still eat very little solids, or even none at all. However, even though Liam is still breastfed he actually DOES eat "real" food! Shocker, I know. How much he actually eats versus what ends up on the floor or in his hair varies from day to day (which is totally okay since he is still getting everything he needs from breastmilk) but he DOES eat. His favorite dinner is spaghetti, and he loves to eat peas, strawberries, watermelon, avocado, brown rice, and plenty of other healthy foods. He just still prefers the HEALTHIEST of foods: his mama's milk!

Proof that my child eats "real" food

So don't you fear, unsolicited-givers-of-advice, Liam is not starving, he is not malnourished, he is not deprived. He is a happy, thriving, NORMAL one-year-old.

Caption Contest WINNER!

2011-05-06T23:23:00.001-04:00

And the winner is... drumroll please... Shawn! Well, he doesn't really win since he TOLD me what he was really thinking here:

"This party is over! On to the honeymoon suite!"

And the runner-up is Jen: "Whoa! Why is Grandma getting topless?!'" Jen, you have no idea how funny that really is...

Oh, sorry Shawn, there's no prize.

How Many Babies Have To Die?

2011-05-06T23:07:00.000-04:00

A little boy is dead after a "routine" circumcision.

Dead.

Yes, death is a risk of circumcision. It says so right on the consent form. Right below where it says "this is an ELECTIVE procedure". Elective as in... unnecessary. But, some people are so insistent upon cutting off part of their child's penis that they seem to skim through the this might kill your kid part.

And now a child is gone due to this senseless procedure. Absolutely asinine. Ridiculous. And one hundred percent preventable. I'll let the Daily Mail take it from here:

"A two-year-old boy died on the operating table after circumcision. The devastated parents of Jamaal Coleson Jr, from Queens, are demanding to know why their son died during the procedure at Beth Israel Hospital in Manhattan.

Jamaal's uncle Jabbar Coleson, 23, said his nephew died on Tuesday about ten hours after he went in to be circumcised. His grieving parents - Taleah Echezerriam and Jamaal Coleson - were too distraught to speak.

Coleson told the New York Post that the hospital was supposed to give the two-year-old a local analgesic, but instead gave him a general one. Jamaal, who would have celebrated his second birthday next month, was said to have "woken up and called for his mother, and then went critical."

Jamaal never regained consciousness and was declared dead at 8.35pm.
Coleson, who lives in Atlanta, told the Post, "I want to know what happened. He was so sweet and energetic and so happy - a very happy child. I am very upset and I am glad I am a couple of hundred miles away. I have time to calm down and say my prayers."

The family are demanding answers and want to know what went wrong. The hospital said in a statement:

We extend heartfelt condolences to the family of the young patient in question. This is a devastating event for his family as well as for the staff at Beth Israel who tried to save his life. We immediately notified the Medical Examiner's Office and requested that they accept this case for further review, which they have. We also are in the process of reporting this case as an unexpected death to the NYS Department of Health.

Ellen Borakove, a spokeswoman for the ME, confirmed an autopsy was conducted yesterday to determine the cause of death, the results of which have yet to be released.
Jamaal's parents were to be married next year. Coleson said, 'We just don't understand what happened. Now my mother is out buying a suit for the funeral (instead of the wedding).' "

Unfortunately, Jamaal is not the only baby to die because of circumcision. An estimated 117 babies die each year as a direct result of circumcision - and this is a conservative estimate. Many deaths by circumcision are reported as being caused by "hemorrhage" or "heart failure", so this number is likely much higher. Drop-side cribs were recently banned because 32 babies died in 10 years. How many babies have to die before needless amputation is banned too?

AAP To Change Policy Statement?

2011-05-04T16:44:00.000-04:00

I just realized how much this logo resembles a circumstraint

I was really pleased to see this video on the American Academy of Pediatrics' Facebook page. In it, a woman speaks about childhood trauma and its negative effects on children's development.

I was pretty excited because this MUST mean the AAP's policy statement on circumcision would be changing to reflect this sentiment... right? I mean, after all, having body parts crushed, ripped, and cut off is pretty darn traumatic for a newborn child.

WRONG. Not only does the maddeningly neutral policy statement remain unchanged, but all comments pointing out the hypocrisy of taking a stand against "childhood trauma" while continuing to allow the number one cause of trauma in newborns to continue - for profit - are mysteriously disappearing.

Hmm. Maybe there's a glitch going on with Facebook today... and maybe they're still drafting the new statement? I'm waiting, guys...

12 Reasons I'm Still Breastfeeding My One Year Old

2011-04-29T23:14:00.001-04:00

Liam is now one year, one week, and two days old, and yes, he is still breastfeeding. When will he stop? Eh, when he's ready. The end is nowhere in sight. He is still very attached to me and to nursing, and I don't see a single reason to stop. But there are TONS of reasons to continue! Here's twelve - one for every month of our breastfeeding relationship so far:

My milk did not turn into water once the cake was eaten

Breastfed children are sick less often. The American Academy of Family Physicians has stated that children weaned before the age of two are at increased risk of illness, and stay sick longer.
Breastfed children have fewer allergies.
Breastfed children have a lower risk of obesity.
Breastfed children are smarter.
Breastmilk provides much of a child's nutritional needs. Breastfeeding does not in any way become nutritionally useless once a child reaches the age of one - or at any age. As long as the nursing relationship continues, breastmilk continues to provide a substantial amount of fats and nutrients, including many that simply cannot be replicated in formula or other milk products.
Breastfeeding can delay fertility. Definitely a plus for someone like me who is not planning on another child for a few more years (though it is not one hundred percent effective as birth control - if you're trying to prevent pregnancy, use other means of protection even if you're breastfeeding!).
Breastfeeding reduces my risk of osteoporosis and breast, ovarian, and uterine cancers. There is a history of breast cancer in my family, so this is important to me.
Breastfed children are socially well adjusted. Contrary to common belief, kids who are breastfed for an "extended" period of time are quite independent - sometimes more so than their non-nursing peers! And according to one researcher, "There are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration of breastfeeding."

It's free. Why would I go buy cow's milk for my toddler (I don't drink the stuff. Bovine bodily fluids? No thanks) when I have milk that is uniquely designed for my baby right here?
Nursing is an instant toddler-tantrum-soother. Crying kid + boob = everyone happy. It's also guaranteed to get a fussy baby down for a nap. Well, mine anyway.
Breastfeeding beyond infancy is NORMAL! The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for a MINIMUM of two years, and worldwide the average age of weaning is between two and four, though it is biologically normal for a child to self-wean as late as seven.
There is nothing like the unique bond between a mother and her nursling. Nothing! I'm not saying that formula-fed babies or weaned toddlers don't have bonds with their mothers, but there really is something special about my baby looking up at me through his big blue eyes as he nurses - and it's not something I think either of us are ready to abandon just yet.

Boobs: The Insta-Napper

This list could continue on forever, but I have a baby who needs to nurse back to sleep.What about you? What are your reasons for nursing your child beyond infancy?

Funny Friday: Caption Contest

2011-04-29T11:18:00.001-04:00

This post is really just an excuse to show off some of my wedding pictures. But I also need a caption for the greatest picture of all time! I received the CD of wedding pictures yesterday and as I was going through them I started cracking up at this:

I have no clue what the heck is going on here. Liam, my mom, and I all appear to be mildly amused at something off to the left, while Shawn is extremely enthused at something else altogether. So, ideas anyone? Give me the perfect caption!

And while I'm at it... here's some more pictures from the wedding, just because I love them so much:

With my beautiful stepdaughters, Riley and Alyssa!

Liam loved the cake

Husband and wife!

Coming up later today: Why that adorable toddler(!) in these pictures is still breastfed - and yes, I nursed him at the wedding!

Penises on the Ballot

2011-04-28T10:43:00.000-04:00

I have great hope that in my lifetime, male circumcision will become just as illegal as its female counterpart. Thanks to Lloyd Schofield, it may happen sooner than I anticipated!

Lloyd lives in San Francisco, and he wants to ban circumcision on minors in his city. And I think that's AWESOME. The ordinance will be voted on in November, as Lloyd has received almost double the required amount of signatures to get it on the ballot.

The ordinance will amend the San Francisco police code to make it "unlawful to circumcise, excise, cut, or mutilate the whole or any part of the foreskin, testicles, or penis of another person who has not attained the age of 18 years." The only exceptions will be for clear, compelling, and immediate medical need.

Nope, no religious exemptions. Sorry people, your right to "religious freedom" ends where your kid's genitals begin.

So what do you think? If you lived in San Francisco (or if you do live there now) would you/will you vote to ban infant circumcision? Tell me what you think, and vote in the poll to the left!

I Feel Like Being Nice, For Once

2011-04-24T21:09:00.000-04:00

I really should have written a post about zombie Jesus and Easter and how it's a holiday that is totally unoriginal and was stolen from the Pagans to make the Christian takeover a bit easier... but I didn't. I've been so freaking busy this week that I have been neglecting the blog, and zombie Jesus has been the last thing on my mind. Liam turned one, I got married... and I have mono. So I am a bit delirious as I write this.

I've had a great week so this is going to be short, sweet, and uncharacteristically nice: I hope everyone had a great Easter, Ostara, fertility festival, spring celebration, whatever. Your regularly scheduled programming will return shortly!

Happy Birthday Liam!

2011-04-20T08:31:00.137-04:00

One year ago today, I woke up in active labor and nearly gave birth in a car during morning rush hour. Those two hours were somewhat of a blur, but I remember being terrified. Terrified that my baby would be born on the side of route 66; terrified when, after arriving at the hospital via ambulance, the nurses told me there was no time for an epidural; terrified because Shawn was still stuck in traffic and wasn't there with me. But I also remember the fear and chaos disappearing, and the pure, true love I felt when I held my little Liam for the first time. That love has grown every day since then, and today I woke up to a much more peaceful morning: my sweet little one-year-old was grinning from ear to ear and giving me baby kisses.

Has it really been a whole year? My little baby is growing so fast, faster than I ever could have imagined. He's walking, can point out animals in a book, and growls when asked what a lion says. He can identify pictures of family members and is getting his seventh tooth. And he's so happy! I have never met a happier baby, and he has brought so much joy into the lives of everyone in his family.

In the past year I have been getting to know this new little person, but I have also learned so much about myself. I don't think I really knew myself until I became a parent. I have such a hard time imagining my life before him, and I am the luckiest mommy in the world to have him as a son. Happy first birthday my sweet, sweet boy. I can't wait to spend your special day with you. I love you so much!

Showers... and Silly Pro-Circ Argument #4

2011-04-10T12:13:00.000-04:00

My son loves to take showers. LOVES it. So much that when he hears the shower door open or the water start running, he makes a mad dash for the bathroom and tries to take his clothes off. He usually sits in the corner of the shower and plays with the water, his toys, and...his penis.

Yeah, his penis. He's recently discovered that it exists, and that it is within a perfect arm's reach. Sometimes he'll sit there holding it and just stare at it reverently. Other times he'll smack it or pull it. I tell him that he has his whole life to play with that thing so there is really no need to start now, but he doesn't care. He just wants to touch it.

So, given Liam's obsession with showers and his man-parts, I really don't think I'll have any trouble with this next silly pro-circ argument: You need to cut off that filthy foreskin - it's too difficult to keep clean!

Right. First of all, is it really that hard to get a boy to clean his penis? It's impossible to get Liam NOT to touch it. And I know his love for showers will probably not last into his teenage years, but is it really that much of an imposition to make your kid bathe? The thing is though, it really isn't any harder to care for than any other body part, so as long as you plan on bathing your kids regularly there is no reason to even consider this as a reason to circumcise your baby.

According to the silly pro-circ logic, we should also cut off ears at birth because it's too hard to get kids to wash behind them. We should amputate toes because they get gunk stuck in between them, and heaven knows we can't trust males to wash their feet. Apparently it's only boys that are incapable of bathing, because even though girls produce far more smegma than males, and have far more folds to keep clean, we don't hack off their prepuce and labia in the name of hygiene.

It's absolutely ridiculous that there's so much hysteria over keeping this one body part clean. It's really quite simple At birth, the foreskin is fused to the glans as a fingernail is fused to the finger (they have to RIP it off in a circumcision - ouch) and it should not be forcibly retracted at any time. All you have to do to care for it is wipe the outside like a finger. That's it! No pushing back the foreskin (it can cause permanent damage), no scrubbing, no nothing. The penis is meant to be a self-cleaning organ, much like the vagina, and the best advice to new parents of intact boys is just to leave it alone. When the foreskin is finally retractable (sometimes not even until puberty or later), all you have to do is retract and rinse with warm water in the shower. That's it. Anything more, like excessive scrubbing or harsh soaps, can cause irritation to the mucous membranes in the foreskin and can lead to infection. Retract, rinse, replace. See? Simple! And if you still think that's more of an inconvenience than penis reduction surgery, well, you've got bigger problems.

So if you're worried about having a hard time keeping your intact son clean, don't! There's really not much to it. But if you're still worried, just trust Liam on this one: showers (and touching your penis, apparently) are fun!

All clean!

I Went To Church Today

2011-04-09T15:07:00.000-04:00

...and I took Liam with me! Shocking, I know. You may also be surprised to learn that I did NOT burst into flames.

Creeeeepy....

The last time I was in a church, I was about 11 years old, absolutely terrified by the dead Jesus staring at me from behind the priest, and wondering to myself, do people actually believe this stuff? The Catholic church is kind of weird. I mean, they symbolically EAT the body and blood of Jesus, for Christ's sake (heh). To me, it is probably the strangest of all the Christian denominations, and that's really saying something.

But today, after all this time, I made my return to the Catholic Church. Nope, I wasn't attending Mass - I was taking Liam to his first music class! It was held in the basement of a nearby church and was totally free of any religious crapola. It was a really great class. I had to protect Liam's ears from the "Aaa-aaa-men" coming from the sanctuary, and shield his eyes from all the freaky pictures on the wall as we made our way downstairs, but overall we had a great time and escaped unscathed.

We may even go back! But only until Liam is old enough to be scared by the bleeding dead guy on the wall... then we'll probably just go to Gymboree.

I'm Not a Hypocrite

2011-04-05T14:54:00.002-04:00

...and his body, and his choice!

I was recently accused of being a hypocrite for being a pro-choice intactivist. Um, what? My uterus, my choice. His penis, his choice. I think that's pretty consistent.

But doesn't KILLING your baby infringe upon his rights to his body? Only if you think a fetus has rights. They don't. And only if you think having an abortion is equivalent to "killing a baby". It's not.

The real hypocrites are the people who so vehemently defend a fetus's right to life, but cut up their precious little bodies the day they are born. Or, the ones who are pro-choice when it comes to abortion, but also for some reason pro-RIC. "My body, my choice - my kid's body, still my choice." Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.

People should have the right to control their own bodies, whether the issue be an unwanted pregnancy, forced genital mutilation, or whatever. Simple stuff people.

Confessions of an American Circumcised Dad

2011-04-01T09:17:00.000-04:00

Another video in honor of Genital Integrity Awareness Week! This dad speaks out about how he first learned about circumcision, how he feels about it now, and why he has one circumcised son and one who's intact.

My favorite quote in this video: "It's torture... We either ignorantly participate in it or we do something about it to stop it."

It's A Human Thing

2011-03-31T16:42:00.001-04:00

Every so often, I'll hear a comment to the effect of: "Why do you care so much about penises? You're a girl! Men don't care about this nearly as much as women seem to." Well, yeah, I'm a female. I don't have a penis. But I DO have a son, who I am committed to protecting and nurturing, so I care very much about his little body and his rights to it, along with the rights of baby boys everywhere. AND... Men DO care about this issue! Just take a look at these comments that have been written on intactivist networks by men who regret their circumcisions:

"Cutting off the best part of my penis was NOBODY else's right. My body is mine, and amputating intimate parts of it without my consent is abusive at best. Now I have to deal with the consequences of someone else's choice regarding genitals they don't have anything to do with, for the rest of my life. I was a victim of intentionally misinformed parents and unethical medical practices, and I'd like to sue."

"It should have been my decision. I am even looking into restoration even though it won't restore all of the feeling. I feel I was born perfectly. Excuses for circumcision have evolved, and I'll tell you what, I feel them all to be bullshit. It's nothing more than a way for doctors to make even more money than they already do. If I ever invented time travel, saving my penis from mutilation would be the first thing I did."

"It makes me sad to think that my parents failed to protect me as an infant. Instead, they let someone cut off a portion of my favorite body part."

"Hell yeah I'm pissed off that my parents paid a doctor to cut off the end of my dick. If anyone tried that shit on a grown man, I don't know a man alive that wouldn't fight to the death. If anyone ever suggested trying to mutilate my son they'd better get a head start & run bloody fast."

"I am a victim of circumcision and I will NEVER forgive my mother for taking that from me. Its my body and she didn't have the right to remove anything from it. My penis has never been hers to worry about and never will. The violation of my body will haunt me forever. Why did my sisters desirve to keep their whole bodies? Why wasn't I accepted as perfect? Why did I have to be carved up? There is no reason that would cause me to forgive my mother and there was no reason to cut up my perfect sons...."

"I was circumcised without my consent as an infant. I have been physically and emotionally damaged because of this. On the physical level, I have lost an important part of my sexual response and sexual sensation. I will never be able to feel the complete and normal feeling of sex because someone removed an organ critical to that normal experience. On an emotional level, I feel violated—I feel raped. Whenever I look at my penis I am again reminded of the violence forced upon me."

There are many, many more of these sentiments on intactivist sites and forums all over the internet. There is even a whole website dedicated to men who want to sue the hospitals and doctors who circumcised them without their consent. Men do care. They may not be shouting from the rooftops in your neighborhood (how many guys do you know that would ever publicly admit to something being "wrong" with their penis?), but I promise you, they are there.

And yeah, women also care. Circumcision affects us too! But this isn't a male or a female thing. It's a HUMAN thing. Babies shouldn't have their genitals carved up...period. How hard is this to understand?! Every human has rights. Every human should defend them. And the dismissal of this issue that I sometimes see because "men don't care" is simply DUMB. Yes, they do. Some of the most oustpoken and vocal intactivists are men, and boy are they angry.

Male readers, are you circumcised and mad about it? And do you feel that women have the "right" to be pissed off about it too? Should this issue be strictly left to men... or is it really just a human thing?

Watch This Video, I Dare You

2011-03-28T23:51:00.000-04:00

It is not for the faint of heart. But if you plan on having your baby circumcised... you need to watch this. WITH the sound on.

I don't think I really need to say anything else.

It's Genital Integrity Awareness Week!

2011-03-28T13:40:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday, and happy Genital Integrity Awareness Week!

Why this week? The FGM Bill became enforceable under federal law on March 30th, 1997, and intactivists like to use this day to bring awareness to the fact that ALL babies' bodies deserve federal protection, regardless of sex. From March 28th - April 3rd, 2011, the 18th Annual Demonstration and Marches to End Infant Circumcision will be going on in Washington, D.C. If you can't be there in person, please consider participating in the Virtual March this week, by changing your Facebook profile picture to one that represents the goal of ending genital cutting on all babies.

I will be participating by posting pictures and information about circumcision and intactivism throughout the week, both here and on my Facebook. I hope you will participate in some way too. Spread the word, and stop cutting babies!

Why Don't You Just Breastfeed?

2011-03-28T09:03:00.001-04:00

As I was perusing the aisles of Babies R Us the other day, I couldn't help but notice a very pregnant woman standing in the formula aisle, looking very confused. She stood there for quite a while, seemingly examining the labels and comparing the prices of different brands. She looked thoroughly distressed. The shelf she was looking at looked something like this:

There were about a zillion options to choose from and I don't blame her for being overwhelmed. But all I wanted to do was go up to her and say, Why don't you just breastfeed? It's better than any of this crap. And it's free.

Of course I didn't do that - I'm opinionated, yes, but not quite ballsy enough to approach a total stranger in the middle of Babies R Us. But it definitely got me wondering: Why would someone choose not to breastfeed? A lot of women try to at first, and it doesn't work out for whatever reason. But to decide to formula-feed before the baby is even born, KNOWING that breastmilk is a superior source of nutrition? I just don't get it. I can't comprehend the notion that second-best is good enough for my child when the best is readily available.

I get that some people have medical conditions that make breastfeeding impossible. I get that some people have to take medications incompatible with nursing. I get that some people adopt their babies. But a lot of by-choice formula-feeders don't really have a reason not to breastfeed other than Meh, I just don't want to. It's sad to me that that's a good enough reason to not even try.

I have a lot of respect for women who nurse, pump, or try their dang hardest to do either. But those of you who choose not to make an effort at all? Don't you think your baby is worth it?

My Fiancé is a Hippie

2011-03-27T19:18:00.001-04:00

I've become pretty "crunchy" since becoming a parent, more so than I ever would have predicted. I have become really into doing things naturally and instinctively, and one of the biggest changes in me has been my attitude toward natural childbirth. When I was pregnant, I planned on getting an epidural, IV pain medicine, whatever it took to make childbirth as easy and painless as possible. But things didn't go quite as planned, and after a furiously fast labor, I gave birth to an eight and a half pound baby naturally. No epidural, no pain medicine, no nothing. And it freaking hurt. But I would do it again. I know now that I CAN do it, and I've since become more educated on the risks of epidurals and other interventions.

I was chatting today with Shawn, who often teases me for being a "hippie", about planned natural childbirth, and how with our next baby I would like to take that route myself, and possibly use a midwife instead of an OB. I expected an eyeroll, a snort, a yeah right, ANYTHING other than this: "Yeah! How about a tub birth too?"

Liam and his hippie dad

As I stared in stunned silence, Shawn went on to tell me how a tub birth must provide a much easier transition for the baby, and help the laboring mom relax. And before I could really say anything, out came this gem: "You say the pushing is like pooping, right? Well, sometimes when I take a really big poo, I imagine what it would be like to give birth. And geez. Ouch. I just think the water in the tub would probably help with some of that."

"Oh my god," I stammered. when I finally stopped laughing. "I've converted you! You're a hippie!"

Shawn has always been super supportive of my breastfeeding goals and the decision to leave our son intact, and is open to the discussion of a delayed/selective vaccination schedule in the future. But THIS... this completes his transformation! He is now a full-blown, crunchy, sandal-wearing hippie! And I'm so proud!

How have you changed since becoming a parent? What has your significant other done that pleasantly surprised you, and made you beam with pride? Me and my hippie family want to know!

Routine Toe Removal Has Health Benefits

2011-03-23T22:22:00.000-04:00

I came across this at peaceful parenting!

A parody of routine infant circumcision and its supposed "benefits."
By Joseph Lewis

"Toe Jam" on a baby

CLEANLINESS
Toenails are a pain to keep clean. They accumulate dirt, and they take time to trim. If not properly washed, toe jam can develop between the toes and the foot will give off an unpleasant odor.

TOES ARE PRONE TO DISEASE
The spaces between the toes are the perfect place to harbor bacteria that cause infection. Athlete's foot is such a problem in North America today that there is an entire industry based on foot hygiene products.

Athlete's Foot

The fungus that can and does grow underneath the toenails takes so long to get rid of. Fungal treatments like Lamisil and Lotrimin make a killing of money off of people with fungal problems.

Furthermore, toenails can become ingrown, requiring the need for surgery. Compound the hygiene and fungus products with the need for surgery, and having toes becomes very expensive, very fast.

Toenail Fungus

MAY REQUIRE SURGERY LATER ON
When toenails become ingrown, they sometimes require medical intervention. I know quite a few guys that had to have part of their nail root killed because they had recurring ingrown toenails.

Ingrown Toenail

MAY REQUIRE AMPUTATION IN ADULTHOOD
If your family has a history of diabetes, you may wish to consider removing your children's toes. If your child gets diabetes, s/he may develop a condition called "hammertoe," where poor blood circulation causes the toes to become necrotic, becoming a gangrene hazard, not only for the toes themselves, but for the rest of the foot. It is such a common incident, and there is a danger that the wound(s) may not heal correctly, causing the entire foot to be gangrenous. I know of a few cases where the wounds did not heal, and the gangrene kept spreading. The patients had to undergo surgery after surgery, until the gangrene had left them with a stump up to their thigh. Some patients simply died in recovery.

Hammertoe

CONSIDER YOUR CHILD'S ELDERLY CARETAKER
Caretakers for the elderly already have to deal with so much. They have to feed and wash old people, and sometimes, if the men are intact, they have to (gulp) pull back the foreskin and rinse! On top of that, they have to take care of their patients' feet. This means washing them, clipping their toenails (that never stop growing) and making sure there is no gunk between the toes or fungus under the nail beds. It would make elderly caretakers' jobs SO much easier if their patients simply didn't have any toes.

HEALTH RISK
Babies' toes pose a specific health risk for a very common condition known as "hair tourniquet." A parent's hair wraps around the baby's toe, quickly cutting off circulation. If the condition becomes severe, the baby must be taken to the ER and have the hair removed immediately. Occasionally, the toe is lost. Clearly, parents may see that cutting off a child's toes is in the child's best interest. If parents can demand a doctor circumcise their son, then it only follows that they should be able to demand a doctor remove their child's toes.

Hair Tourniquet

And, because a parent believes it is for the best, a physician has the duty to oblige. Why, if it's done as baby, s/he won't remember it!

If they use enough anesthesia, the child will not even feel the pain.

Having your toes removed as an adult is simply no fun.

Especially if diabetes runs in the family, physicians should advise parents to cut off their babies' toes. After all, they may need to have them removed later in life anyway.

My girlfriend's cousin's boyfriend's aunt's baby had to have a toe removed because of a hair tourniquet. If I ever have a baby, I'm surely going to have his toes removed.

In short, having toes is a HEALTH HAZARD! Cutting off a child's toes has health benefits. The AAP should recommend that all doctors advise parents that they remove their child's toes in infancy. It is simply better to remove a baby's toes when s/he is too young to remember and won't know what s/he is missing later in life. Parents and doctors that choose not to remove a child's toes are denying him/her of potential health benefits.

Whackadoodles Placed on Endangered Species List

2011-03-22T15:17:00.002-04:00

According to the BBC, religion is headed for extinction.

Please excuse me for a moment while I jump for joy.

Ok, I'm back.

Seriously though, the whackadoodles are dying out. Look for yourself: This article reports that two-thirds of the British population is non-religious, and that most who report "belonging to a religion" are not in fact believers, but claim affiliation for cultural reasons or out of a need to belong. Another article states that, based on census data from several countries, an increasing number of people are reporting no religious affiliation. Models predict that this trend will continue. Thank God! Er...

Do you consider this a good thing? Personally, I look forward to living on a planet devoid of mindless sheep, but that's just me.

Don't Be Stupid: Part Two

2011-03-21T20:34:00.000-04:00

Today, the American Academy of Pediatrics finally caught up with years of science and data collection, and released an official update to its policy on car seat safety.

Hopefully, state laws will also begin to catch up with this important information, making it illegal to forward face before the age of two. Meanwhile, don't be stupid! Rear-facing is safer. It saves lives. Why WOULDN'T you do it?

5 Stupid Reasons to Stop Breastfeeding

2011-03-20T19:38:00.000-04:00

As my son's first birthday looms ever nearer, Liam and I approach the land of "extended" breastfeeding (or, more accurately, breastfeeding for a biologically normal duration). Cue the unsolicited, misinformed givers-of-advice:

NOT a magic cut-off point

1. Isn't he too old? You should stop when he turns one. No. And why? Every medical organization in the world suggests breastfeeding until at the VERY LEAST one year, and continuing until two or even longer. The health benefits don't suddenly cease to exist while you're singing Happy Birthday. Breastmilk continues to provide nutrients and immune support well beyond infancy, and its content is constantly changing to meet the nutritional needs of the nursling. Pretty cool, huh?

2. You should stop when he can ask for it. So... straight out of the womb? Newborns "ask" for the breast by rooting, gnawing on their hands, and crying. Older infants "ask" too, just not with words. Liam, at 11 months, "asks" for it by crawling up to me and snuggling up on my chest. And when he becomes more verbal, I'm sure he'll ask for it by name. So what?! What about when he starts asking for broccoli? Should I take it away since he can verbalize his desire for it? Dumb.

Pearly whites: NOT a dealbreaker!

3. You should stop when he gets teeth. Why? Some babies get teeth early, some late. Why should this be the determinant for weaning? Did you know some babies are born with a full set of teeth? Should they be denied their mother's milk because of this fact? Biting is an understandable worry, and yes, it can hurt, but can be easily "trained" out of a baby. When Liam figured out that he didn't get to nurse when he bit, he stopped biting. He has six teeth, and my nipples haven't fallen off yet.

4. You should stop when he can use a cup. But my boobs are just so much more convenient. Liam uses a straw cup to drink water throughout the day (he LOVES water), but refuses breastmilk out of it. He'd rather have it straight from the tap. Smart kid.

5. He needs to be less dependent on Mommy. Yeah, one day. But for now, he's a baby. And I try to practice attachment parenting as much as I can, which includes breastfeeding on demand for what others may feel is an "extended" period of time. And anyway, studies show that attached babies are more likely to grow into confident, secure, and independent older children, teenagers, and adults. The babies who are put on schedules, left to cry it out, and don't have their needs met are the ones that grow into high-maintenance adults.

So there you have it. The five dumbest reasons to stop breastfeeding. So when someone tells you that you should stop because your baby is too old, or has too many teeth, or knows how to speak, or whatever.... just tell them (politely, I guess...) to educate themselves before spewing such ignorant nonsense.

Tennessee and "Extended" Breastfeeding

2011-03-20T00:13:00.001-04:00

Did you know that in the state of Tennessee, it is currently illegal to nurse a child older than 12 months in public? It is the only state in which this is the case.

What the heck?! How did I not know about this? The good news is that the state legislature is voting to eliminate this age limit next week. The bad news is that there was ever an age limit in the first place. What's with the arbitrary upper limit of 12 months? Does breastfeeding become unworthy of legal protection at the stroke of midnight on a child's first birthday? Well, I'm pretty sure one year of breastfeeding is recommended as the bare minimum, with many medical organizations recommending at least two years:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."

The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that "As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy... It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer." They also note that "If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned."

The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond, stating that "infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health. Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond."

I'm not one for bare minimums so I plan on nursing Liam until he wants to stop. The end is nowhere in sight, as he still nurses any time, anywhere. Thank you, state legislature of Tennessee, for ensuring his right to do so in your state! Thumbs up for common sense.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T13:25:00.000-04:00

...from me and the cutest little leprechaun I've ever seen!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Irish day!

A Quick Note: Other People's Children

2011-03-14T21:33:00.001-04:00

A lot of people seem to have the idea that everyone, including me, should just mind their own business when it comes to other people's kids and families. I should just shut up and stop "ranting" about issues like breastfeeding, circumcision, etc. But the fact of the matter is that other people's children do matter. They are the next generation, the future of society, my child's peer influences. I came across a quote at Peaceful Parenting that says it quite well:

Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the welfare of our children is intimately linked to the welfare of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. If one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will be responsible for the violent act. The good life for our own children can be secured only if a good life is also secured for all other people's children.
~Lilian Katz

I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their life. I just want the world to be a better place.

Like Father Like Son

2011-03-10T23:58:00.001-05:00

Possibly the stupidest argument I've ever heard from the pro-circ crowd: "Well, my baby's dad is circumcised and little boys should look like their daddy."

Right. That makes sense. So right after I get my little guy circumcised, I'm going to dye his hair darker, get him pubic hair implants and colored contact lenses, and send him to a tanning salon. After that I'm going to have him tattooed. After all, boys should look like their daddies, right?

Hmm, never mind. All of that sounds pretty silly. Just about as silly as chopping off part of a kid's body so he and his dad can have matching penises. How often do fathers and sons compare penises anyway? I mean, do they really flop them out and point out similarities and differences to each other? If that's really the case, and it matters so much that fathers and sons "match", my suggestion is this: instead of putting a newborn through a painful and unnecessary surgery, the father should undergo the process of foreskin restoration. It takes some time, but I'm sure it will be worth it to have matching genitalia. Or! Better yet! To address the bigger and much more obvious difference... fathers should volunteer themselves for penis reduction surgery! And have their pubes done away with via laser hair removal! Then they'll REALLY match!

Does anyone else find it disturbing that "matching penises" is even entertained as a valid reason to circumcise a boy? Imagine the CPS investigation that would commence if I had a daughter and tried to modify her genitals to match mine.

Should the issue of different penises ever arise with an intact son, what's so wrong with either a) telling him that everyone looks different, and/or b) explaining what circumcision is and that while it was considered the right thing to do when Daddy was a baby, we now know better? Come on people. Parenting. Not cutting.

This Just In: Human Milk Safe For Humans

2011-03-09T21:59:00.000-05:00

UK public health officials have decided that the breast milk ice cream recently confiscated from The Icecreamists in London is safe for human consumption. Really? Human milk, safe for humans to consume?! Imagine that!

Meanwhile, Lady Gaga has begun legal proceedings against the ice cream parlor, stating that by using the name "Baby Gaga", the Icecreamists are "taking advantage of [her] reputation and goodwill." She also stated that the product is "deliberately provocative and nausea-inducing". This coming from the woman who once wore a dress made of meat.

Dear BB&B

2011-03-09T16:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I received an email from a reader named Kira. She writes:

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and we have recently needed to teach her etiquette on being naked in front of other people. A few times we would have a group of my husbands friends over to play those gosh darn xbox games and she would run out naked and start dancing. It was funny and we didn't get mad, we just took her back to the bedroom and explained that it's better if she doesn't show her naked body to people outside of our family and helped her put some clothes on. She was like oh, okay no big deal. But, she remembered.

When I had my now 3 1/2 month old daughter, she would see me breastfeeding and I just explained that that's where babies food comes from until they are old enough to not need it anymore. She didn't think anything of it (as I'm sure most kids don't). The issue was if we were in public and she would see other women breastfeeding. I would tell her it was just like when mommy fed her sister. Babies gotta eat. But she would still throw the, "we're not supposed to show our naked bodies outside of the house" rule at me. So I would be like yeah, that's right, it's more important if you're a child, though. (How do you explain to a child that there are total creeps out there that would much rather see a naked kid running around than care about a slight boob show from an adult woman?) So, she has let it go and doesn't really ask anymore. Is there a better way to explain the difference without freaking her out? I have yet to breastfeed in public without my cute "udder cover" only because it's not a hassle in any way for me and I'm more of a private person I guess, so she hasn't been able to see me doing it in public with "a boob out" so it might be harder for her to understand why that's okay but it's not okay for her. Did I say it the right way to her? ugghhh!

First of all, Kira - I am totally flattered that you wrote to me about this, especially since I am only just beginning my own parenting journey. While I make efforts to be educated and informed, I'm mostly figuring it all out as I go along!

I told Kira that if I were in her position, I would probably just leave the issue alone until it comes up again. If it does come up, I would just explain that some people are comfortable keeping themselves covered, and others are comfortable uncovered, and it's OK either way when a mommy is feeding her baby. But kids stay clothed.

Kim Kardashian

Me!

However, I think the real problem here is not really whether she as a parent said it "the right way". Rather it is the extent that society has sexualized breasts and the female body, making it confusing what is and isn't appropriate. I nurse without a cover (though when I do so there is nothing more visible than if I were wearing a tank top or a bathingsuit), and one of the reasons I do this is that I believe that the more people (children included) see a woman's breasts being utilized in a non-sexual way, the less sexualized and taboo they will become. Unfortunately though, I think it is difficult to teach a healthy body image and appropriate sense of modesty to children while society is in the background giving mixed messages. We are inundated with media messages like that on the left, while nursing mothers are told to "cover up". It's all quite confusing.

So what do you think, readers? What advice would you give to Kira? Do you have any parenting dilemmas of your own? I want to hear from you!

Don't Be Stupid: A Lesson in Car Seat Safety

2011-03-08T00:57:00.001-05:00

You know what I really can't stand? People who are stupid. You know what I really, REALLY can't stand? People who are stupid about the safety and well-being of their child.

My precious cargo

Car seat safety is another one of those things that I never even thought about until I had a baby. I was always vaguely aware of some law or another that required infants to be faced backwards until they were one, but I never gave it much thought beyond that. I had no reason to! It's not like I was ever going to have a kid... But life had other plans, and here I am, baby in tow and a self-proclaimed Car Seat Nazi. I am acutely aware of car seat laws and recommendations, and I check the harness straps and install on my car seat every time I go anywhere with Liam. He is the most precious cargo I could ever transport. So it blows my mind when I see photos posted on Facebook and elsewhere of children in car seats with glaring, often illegal, and possibly fatal errors. Why anyone would take anything less than the utmost care with something like car seat safety is absolutely mind-boggling.

There are a few common mistakes that are bad enough (though easily remedied), like not tightening the harness straps tightly enough, or not using the chest clip correctly (it's called a CHEST clip for a reason people!). But the one thing that I just cannot wrap my mind around is the desire some people have to flip their kids around to face forward as soon as they possibly can. FORWARD FACING IS NOT A MILESTONE. In fact, it is something that should be avoided as long as possible. If I had my way, Liam would be rear-facing until I drive him to college! Ha, just kidding. Well, maybe.

In case you are not aware:

Rear-facing is safest for both adults and children, but especially for babies, who would face a greater risk of spinal cord injury in a front-facing carseat during a frontal crash.
Rear-facing car seats spread frontal crash forces over the whole area of a child's back, head and neck; they also prevent the head from snapping relative to the body in a frontal crash.
Rear-facing carseats may not be quite as effective in a rear end crash, but severe frontal and frontal offset crashes are far more frequent and far more severe than severe rear end crashes.
Rear-facing carseats are NOT a safety risk just because a child's legs are bent at the knees or because they can touch/kick the vehicle seat.
Rear-facing as long as possible is the current recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics, and can reduce injuries and deaths - it is 500 percent safer than forward-facing. Motor vehicle crashes are the #1 overall cause of death for children 14 and under.

This video sums it all up pretty well:

There is really no reason NOT to rear-face your kid. Not only is it the law in most states to do so for an absolute MINIMUM of one year and 20 pounds (I recently saw a picture of a 6-month-old forward-facing in the car - ugh), but it is just SO much safer, no matter the age. Now, I'm not suggesting that you run out and buy rear-facing seats for your third graders, but you can bet your butt that Liam will be staring out the back window until he's at LEAST two. His seat (the Safety First Complete Air) rear-faces to 40 pounds.

Seriously though, why wouldn't you? And please don't give me any bogus excuses: He's uncomfortable! His feet are touching the seat! He can't see out the window! Wah wah wah! Gag me, please. Does Liam look uncomfortable at all to you in his seat? And anyway, if your child's comfort is more important than his safety, well, I'll go ahead and say it: you have no business being a parent. It is one thing to not be knowledgeable about the benefits of extended rear-facing (although I fervently believe that it is the responsibility of a parent to become educated on as much as possible when it comes to issues such as these). But to be presented with the facts and benefits of rear facing beyond the legal limitations, and STILL choose to prematurely forward face is a special brand of stupid that I just find absolutely inexcusable.

So please. Don't be stupid. Keep your precious babies safe!

For excellent, in-depth information about why rear-facing is safer, please visit carseat.se!

Unfit For Human Consumption

2011-03-05T12:52:00.001-05:00

Last week, an ice cream parlor in London debuted its newest flavor, Baby Gaga. It sells for the equivalent of $22 a serving, and the initial stock sold out in a day. What's so special about this ice cream? It's made from a mixture of vanilla pods, lemon zest, and... human milk.

The initial batch of ice cream came from one woman. The woman's blood and milk were screened for disease and contaminants, and the milk was then pasteurized. Over 200 women have since come forward, willing to sell their milk for this purpose - the ice cream parlor is buying it for $2.40 an ounce... heck, I'll sell them mine too!

Delicious

However, the ice cream has since been seized by London health officials over concerns that the breastmilk was "contaminated" and may not be "fit for human consumption".

Disgusting

What?! So let me get this straight. Most people drink COW'S MILK on a regular basis, which contains artificial hormones and chemicals, and is made not for humans but for baby cows... but HUMAN milk, which is specifically designed for HUMANS, and has been put through an arguably more intensive screening process is contaminated and gross? Huh.

Boys Versus Girls

2011-03-01T22:27:00.002-05:00

Ah, the never-ending playground battle: Boys Versus Girls. Little do the kiddies know that the girls have been ahead since birth - at least when it comes to retaining the right to keep their entire body.

I belong to a few intactivist communities that lead me to lots of discussions and debates with the other side of the circumcision issue and I frequently see the assertion being made that male circumcision is not in any way comparable to female circumcision.

Well, it is.

The following chart (found at noharmm.org) compares the practices of male and female circumcision:

M A L E		F E M A L E
Yes	Is the practice rooted in ancient blood ritual?	Yes
Yes	Was it initially adopted to suppress or control sexuality? (Circumcision of U.S. males began when it was adopted from England in the late 1800s to "prevent" masturbation.)	Yes
Yes	Did the practice become "medicalized?"	Yes
Yes	Do cultures use hygiene, medicine, religion or tradition to justify it?	Yes
Yes	Is it done without anesthesia, and is it painful and traumatic to the child?	Yes
Yes	Does it carry long-term physical, sexual, emotional or psychological effects?	Yes
Yes	Does it diminish sexual sensitivity?	Yes
Yes	Does it abuse or mutilate the child's body?	Yes
Yes	Is it forced upon the child without his/her consent?	Yes
Yes	Is it a violation of a person's fundamental human right to his/her own body?	Yes
Yes	Do the victims learn to accept it as "normal" or defend the practice?	Yes
YES	Is it legal?	NO

As you can see, the only difference here is that one practice is legal and culturally accepted in the U.S., while the other is condemned by society and federally outlawed (interestingly - and disturbingly - only since 1995).

The picture below is of the genitalia of male and female embryos. You probably can't tell which is which. Male and female sex organs develop from the same tissue and have homologous parts (the clitoral prepuce is the equivalent of the male foreskin), but for some reason, only one is protected from mutilation. It's sexist, it's unconstitutional, and it's disgusting.

Male genitalia in utero on the left; female on the right

The Equal Protection Clause, part of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, provides that "no state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws". So can someone please explain to me WHY girls are protected from the barbaric practice of genital mutilation, but little boys aren't? I'd really like one good reason. Don't tell me that male circumcision offers medical benefits while its female counterpart doesn't. Proponents of female circumcision claim it reduces the incidence of STIs, UTIs, and cancer (sound familiar?). Don't tell me that it's done on boys for religious reasons. The same is true for girls in some cultures, but even a ritual pinprick is illegal. And don't tell me it's for "hygiene". Did you know that females produce more smegma than males? Yet... it's still illegal to hack off female body parts, even in the name of cleanliness (showers, anyone?). Seriously. ONE good reason.

If I sound angry, it's because I am. If it sounds like I think male circumcision should be illegal, it's because I do. It's time to even up the score here, and provide equal protection for ALL babies, regardless of what set of sex organs they possess.

If Atheists Ruled The World

2011-02-21T12:52:00.002-05:00

I just have to share this. I'm doubled over laughing because it's so hilarious, but I also kind of want to cry, because all of the comments in this video are DIRECT QUOTES from online Christian forums. Whackadoodles, I'm tellin' ya.